Even in absurdity, sacrament.     Even in hardship, holiness.     Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.    Even in paradox, blessedness

 

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* Latest additions... welcome!

[?]= Seems to be down or on hiatus.
Please report broken links for my blog audit.

"Life expands or shrinks in proportion to one's courage."    ~Anain Nin

{ Saturday, 31 May, 2003 }

"First Entry From New House"

Long title for a short post. But it's true, I'm taking in the new sights from this window as I jot the initial words from a new phase in my life. The yard sale was a smash hit, but there's still leftovers, and tomorrow I'll be tying up the vociferous loose ends, braiding them, hopefully, into a decent length of rope.

jaybird found this for you @ 16:44 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



{ Friday, 30 May, 2003 }

"Sudden Sychronicity"

It's amazing how small the world is and how connected we all are. I mean it. At one of Asheville's many fine booze vendors, we were relaxing after another performance of "Midwives." I was drinking a fine brew, a Sweet Georgia Brown, and not really in the state or county of mind for sudden synchronicity of a cosmic and baffling nature.

It's been over a month since I was in Haiti, and gradually the conversation has become less frequent about my adventures there, though it's sugarcane sticky spirit stays quite well around. A cigar box brought up an anecdote about my smuggle of a few Cuban cigars from that holy island, and the exuberant New Yorker sitting next to piped up that she was in Haiti, in Jacmel, last month as well. She went to Basin-Bleu, I went to Basin-Bleu. She was on a schooner, and I took pictures of a schooner in Jacmel Bay. I spoke briefly to some of her crew as we left Basin-Bleu as they were just getting there. She was among them, and remembers other Americans at the pools that day... what are the chances? Winding up at a bar, chatting up a friend of a friend who I happened to brush shoulders with in such an improbable climate a month before, further away in imagination than miles?

Such a coincidence, if that is even an acceptable word for it, is a powerful refutation of the "mereness" of our being; every moment we live we defy odds, and what is synchronistic is actually happening all the time, and we're only jogged into our senses every so often until we notice. Time and space are no dynasty; they hold no sway over the soul's movement within itself. We begin at the smallest increment of an atom, and unfold until the whole universe is in our hands, with mountains, waterfalls and everything else in between. Chance encounters are the natural constant.

We are all perfect strangers brushing shoulders in paradise, occasionally recognizing just how long and wide spreads our shadows and light. Now if the revelation of the implausibility of two total foreigners sharing, out of all the randomness there is, a single point of reference at an exact location and time of day in a place so remote from simple reckoning... if that isn't a real hoot, I don't know what is.

jaybird found this for you @ 00:55 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



{ Thursday, 29 May, 2003 }

They've cloned a mule, hee-haw

They've cloned a mule, hee-haw ad infinitum.

jaybird found this for you @ 23:59 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink



"Quickie 2"

Been moving all day and now off to house manage for the theater.

jaybird found this for you @ 17:41 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



US finds evidence of

US finds evidence of WMD at last - buried in a field near Maryland

jaybird found this for you @ 09:48 in News, Opinion & Politique | | permalink



"Last Day in the Ol' Neighborhood"

The neighborhood is especially vibrant this particular morning of this particular day... the one which I've selected to be my final one residing within these old plaster crumbling walls and cracked, permanently clouded windows. I took the short walk to that epicenter of Woodfinian culture, "The Hot Spot" for my just waking up five cent coffee. It's one of those little stores where the police scanner is always on, there's always some drama being related by the local folk, and never a shortage of wit and banter from the bobbing grey head behind the counter. I'll miss this little walk, three minutes of my day in transit in my neck of the woods, where life goes on around me and I frequently forget to notice.

The colors on the fire hydrant... the way the Latinos have painted their mailbox... the constancy of the yard around the little brown trailer... these are things that I've noticed but never entirely appreciated. Today it seemed as if all were dancing beyond their skins for my eyes to notice their common, easy to miss qualities. And all the while, on my little groggy jaunt for nickel coffee, as I planned a day of packing boxes, there was music.

"Doc," as he is known, is this little hunched old man who wears a safety orange vest and cap, with a smile broader than the French Broad River, who walks up and down the road collecting cans and whatever wanton trash crosses his path. He especially likes the car wash down the street, and is always enmeshed in some inscrutable commerce. This morning, minutes ago, "Doc" had a harmonica, and played it in short bursts of three notes, always ending in a high, happy tone, much like the yellow warblers that darted through the wet leaves that caught sunshine and put a spell on it. Ta-dah-da! Ta-dah-da! If Doc's smile were any bigger he would swallow the sounds.

I make a practice when in the car to honk the horn a wave at Doc, because no one else seems to and just in case this man with the goat voice might just happen to be God. I remember one day last summer, I drove by and he was fumbling with a black broken umbrella by the side of the road. It looked like he had caught this giant, bent bat and it was feebly flexing it's tattered wings against him. That was heading one way, and returning south down the road this time he had a bright, multicolored perfectly round bumpershoot (as my grandmother calls them) and was twirling it in ecstasy, again with that world swallowing smile through ancient reddened skin and thick glasses. Had he transformed the broken blackness into this circus of spinning colors? Transubstantiation in action?

Incidentally, I'm told that the moniker of "Doc" might be derived from an orange sign that he used to wear around his neck. DOC. Department of Corrections, which will not be too far rom my new home, just a few miles down river. They say he has more money than everyone in Woodfin put together, and that you'll see his brother, a skinny little fella who runs the magic tricks shop up the road, occasionally running down the road with a wheelbarrow.

I will miss these fun collisions of stimuli of this old place, but the new one offers much promise. The other day, one of the neighbor's roosters was up in a tree by my future bedroom window, and he seemed to do this little dance (not the 'chicken dance,' thank you) as he pondered higher branches of the pine that dwarfs my new home on Old Home Road. Could that tree be Yggdrasil, the world tree? Wherever I live, I try to activate the mythology of the place, so I can attempt to understand just what it's trying to say. Do I always hear it? No. But the land is a language of sorts, and it's always talking; if we do anything at all in this life we should take a moment to listen as we awaken into it, even if all we hear is cat scratching at the door and the distant sweetness of a harmonica played by God.

jaybird found this for you @ 09:33 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



{ Wednesday, 28 May, 2003 }

Bird on the Moon's host

Bird on the Moon's host blinks out due to fire

jaybird found this for you @ 23:30 in Blogosphere, Tech & Internet | | permalink



{ Tuesday, 27 May, 2003 }

"Quickie"

Productivity is an illusion. Therefore, I have no misgivings over not thoroughly dedicating myself to that ideal today, sort of the last calm before a story week overfilled with obligations. I'm a little too tired to rant or go into details tonight, other than I'm well, hopeful, and eager as all get out to be free of this house.

A rather dim housemate here wants to paint his room black to absorb sound waves. I'm so ready. At the new house, a rooster was sitting in the tree outside my bedroom window, calling down the sun. I'm so ready.

jaybird found this for you @ 23:06 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



Comedy in Brunei"Comedy is at

Comedy in Brunei"Comedy is at its merriest and most festive when the rhythm of life can be affirmed within the civilised context of human society," Hj Ahmad was quoted as saying.

jaybird found this for you @ 22:52 in Culture, People & Customs | | permalink



The Legacy of Genghis Khan:

The Legacy of Genghis Khan: Courtly Art and Culture in Western Asia, 1256–1353. "Genghis Khan (ca. 1162–1227) and the Mongols are invariably associated with terrible tales of conquest, destruction, and bloodshed.... Yet, the legacy of Genghis Khan, his sons, and grandsons is also one of cultural development, artistic achievement, a courtly way of life..."

jaybird found this for you @ 22:21 in Art, Music, Theater & Film | | permalink



A dream I stumbled upon:

A dream I stumbled upon: How I met Underground Panther in the Sky

jaybird found this for you @ 22:09 in Consciousness, Psychology & Philosophy | | permalink



Suburban Sprawl: A Public Health

Suburban Sprawl: A Public Health Issue? Ya think?

jaybird found this for you @ 22:00 in News, Opinion & Politique | | permalink



Steer Clear! The score so

Steer Clear! The score so far: Bull 0, China Shop 0, Weirdness 1. Actual bull in actual shop that vends china and other antiques retires metaphor. Lethal implications.

jaybird found this for you @ 18:54 in High Weirdness | | permalink



Is setting up Guantanamo as

Is setting up Guantanamo as an extrajudiciary execution farm American justice?

jaybird found this for you @ 17:52 in News, Opinion & Politique | | permalink



Will America watch Gay Reality

Will America watch Gay Reality TV? I dunno.

jaybird found this for you @ 17:48 in Gay, Lesbian, Queer & Free | | permalink



"Transition a go-go."

I'm off to start the long awaited training for my new job; guidance counseling for troubled youth. A little nervous, yes, because I've been so damn comfortable in my current vocation. But I need the challenge, and a pay hike. What's really funny is that I could be starting there as soon as I've moved into the new place. Transition a go-go.

jaybird found this for you @ 07:54 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



Virgin sacrifice in Chile halted

Virgin sacrifice in Chile halted by student loan

jaybird found this for you @ 00:03 in Silly People, Satire & Strange Behaviors | | permalink



{ Monday, 26 May, 2003 }

It is with humility and

It is with humility and frankness that I submit the following (ahem):

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Self-Lovin'53.3%
Explored the pleasures of the flesh
63.7%
Shamelessness61.9%
It takes a couple of drinks
78.4%
Sex Drive 63.2%
A fool for love, but not always
76.7%
Straightness37.5%
Done the nasty, but not creatively
42.9%
Gayness 3.6%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
81.9%
F*$%ing Sick93.8%
Refreshingly normal
89.2%
You are 55.5% pure
Average Score: 71.4%



I'm just over halfway "pure." So I'm not a choir boy or Ivory soap. But I do karaoke sometimes and don't smell too bad.

jaybird found this for you @ 23:32 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink



"Pegasus Ranch"

Dreams aren't supposed to make sense to anything other than the subconscious mind. If indeed the case, mine should fess up now and tell me what is going on. So, I was riding this steed, you see, and we ascended into the clouds and entered “Pegasus Ranch,” a sky-borne watering hole and hitching post for flying mares and broncos. There I met the Goddess of the Wide-Brim, a white haired deep lined matron of the high altitude side saddle, rustler extraordinaire of shooting stars and riderless magic carpets. She was big, she was bad, and her ancient eyes were the color of dawn. She winked and everything became wind, and I rode whistling across the very edge of blue. Yippie yay yo and away!

Now I double dog dare someone to interpret that.

jaybird found this for you @ 20:48 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



Quote I found on the

Quote I found on the Blogging Ecosystem:

"I read somewhere that everybody on this planet is separated by only six other people. Six degrees of separation between us and everyone else on this planet. The President of the United States, a gondolier in Venice, just fill in the names. I find that extremely comforting, that we're so close, but I also find it like Chinese water torture that we're so close because you have to find the right six people to make the connection. It's not just big names -- it's anyone. A native in a rain forest, a Tiero del Fuegan, an Eskimo. I am bound -- you are bound -- to everyone on this planet by a trail of six people. It's a profound thought -- how Paul found us, how to find the man whose son he claims to be, or perhaps is, although I doubt it. How everyone is a new door, opening into other worlds."

Ouisa Kittredge, Six Degrees of Separation

jaybird found this for you @ 20:00 in Art, Music, Theater & Film | | permalink



America's 15 best swimming holes,

America's 15 best swimming holes, one of which is intriguingly not far from here.

jaybird found this for you @ 16:58 in Environment, Ecology & Nature | | permalink



What's your BodyBurden, the pollutants

What's your BodyBurden, the pollutants in your system? Spooky stuff. via Tom Tomorrow

jaybird found this for you @ 16:43 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink



Take a wank holiday. I've

Take a wank holiday. I've not decided whether to observe this... :)

jaybird found this for you @ 16:18 in | | permalink



Boy sets sail to cure

Boy sets sail to cure asthma "AN ITALIAN couple driven to desperation by their six-year-old son’s acute form of asthma set sail with him yesterday on a home-made boat in the hope that living permanently at sea will help to cure him. "

jaybird found this for you @ 16:14 in Radical Undertakings | | permalink



Seeking a theory that not

Seeking a theory that not only ties it all up but is fun at parties? Try Silly Super String!"

jaybird found this for you @ 00:17 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink



{ Sunday, 25 May, 2003 }

This meme has been popping

This meme has been popping up a bit lately; the hundredth monkey and the nearly unfathomable number of monkeys at a typewriter. first link via abuddhas memes

jaybird found this for you @ 23:56 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink



Winners and one sore loser

Winners and one sore loser at Cannes 2003

jaybird found this for you @ 21:01 in Art, Music, Theater & Film | | permalink



"After the Zap"

The other day at work, the funniest thing happened. I was standing right next to one of those horrid bug zappers; you know the ones that lure the unfortunate insects in with an appealing lavender light to their sparky demise. Little was in transit through my head at the time other than a preoccupation with a mood that seemed unworkable and a spirit that was not lifting through conventional means. My eyes caught a bloated fly, drunken on the spoils of a warm spring day, as it flew right into the contraption, and a TSSST! seemed to confirm an undistinguished fate. While this repulsive device bothered me in it’s rude scheme of elimination, my repulsion to it was diminished by my listless meandering in self-centered blues. Just another dead fly, just look at them all, legs in the air and eyes frozen. Now where was I?

Then, as sure as it flew in, this klunky overweight fly flew right out of the death trap and into the sky, gone in an instant of astonishment. Wait a cotton pickin’ minute, did that fly just get zapped and survive? Yes, indeed it did, albeit probably under the weather from all that voltage... it’s out of the trap after the zap.

If that’s not a miracle, I don’t know what is. If it can withstand the blunt mechanistic contact with killer intentions, I can overcome the amorphous sludge of reasonless downtrodden days. After the zap, freedom. After the zap, the sky. The blahs are not lethal. If anything, the blahs might exist to create a pivot point from the comfortable to the new. We Americans sometimes get these blahs in the midst of having everything, and the only way to turn it around is to rearrange what we value or cast off what has become useless. TSSST! Change it up, let it go, and get gone.

I can’t yet say that I’m out of the trap yet, but I’m definitely regaining my strength. I’m peering through the electrified wires into the clouds, and getting there is as easy as deciding when to fly, metaphor or not. Should I be this candid? Evolutionarily speaking, does a species stand a good chance to survive if it rolls over and exposes it’s weakness? Or does it adapt it’s weaknesses to it’s environment? Poisons secreted behind bold colors, weaknesses behind camouflage. I suppose that answered my question.

Only two humans in my immediate sphere know my current emotional wrangling. For the rest of the world, I’m nodding my head and going through the motions, not the emotions. I know that with all the relative good fortune of late, it’s a little illogical to find myself wallowing in the thick airs of placeless doldrums, but who said emotions attend to logic? I’m lucky to feel them at all, I could have been a helium molecule or a dust bunny rather than a yawning caucasian gay thirty-ish American male, kicking the dirt and watching bugs fly into a zapper. It was Julian or Norwich who chanted “All shall be well, all manner of beings shall be well” and Bob Marley who stylied “Every little thing’s gonna be alright.” I believe them implicitly, with all the beating in my heart. I can’t let the experience of the funk I’m going through be the funk I’m going through; I’d rather be funky. And I will be.

Ruminate this: a lowly fly survives a zapper. A lonely boy survives a downer. A lovely planet survives a bad turn. Solution, dissolution, resolution. Tell me just how big the Universe is, and tell me again what your problem is... can you exalt the lifeforce of a little bug that keeps going for no better reason than just because? TSSST! Do you see the clouds yet?

Defy the odds and bring them to you.

jaybird found this for you @ 00:35 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



{ Saturday, 24 May, 2003 }

Well, something sick happened in

Well, something sick happened in my referrer logs so I just had to post it to Disturbing Search Requests. Please folks, this is an innocent little site.

jaybird found this for you @ 17:31 in High Weirdness | | permalink



Study Sheds Light on Dark

Study Sheds Light on Dark Matter "Astronomers have made the most direct measurements yet of dark matter, some of the most prevalent stuff in the universe -- about which almost nothing is known. "

jaybird found this for you @ 17:20 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink



All about Sumer

All about Sumer

jaybird found this for you @ 08:24 in History, Civilization & Anthropology | | permalink



Joseph Campbell - Mythic Reflections

Joseph Campbell - Mythic Reflections "I'm calling a symbol a sign that points past itself to a ground of meaning and being that is one with the consciousness of the beholder. What you're learning in myth is about yourself as part of the being of the world."

jaybird found this for you @ 01:15 in Spirituality, Religion & Mythos | | permalink



Sars 'from the stars' The

Sars 'from the stars'

The virus believed to cause Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (Sars) may have come to Earth from outer space, according to scientists writing in a leading British medical journal.

jaybird found this for you @ 01:07 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink



{ Friday, 23 May, 2003 }

"Juggernaut of Ephemera"

Thus begins a whirl of non-stop activity, a juggernaut of ephemera, a dive into days overstuffed with the fixings of activity and the trimmings of obligation. Lying at the end of this marathon is a thin ribbon through which I shall gracefully fly into my new home. Until then, late next Friday night, my waking hours will be filled with a myriad of necessities. Yet my 'humour' is rebounding from it's recent downward turn, and I greet with preparedness any strange flotsam in the coming onslaught. In layman's terms, I'm working a lot, sleeping little, and feeling better. And the birds are especially colorful today, winging mercurial through queer clouds and scandalous flowers. I wonder what that one has in it's beak?

jaybird found this for you @ 17:40 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



"In Another Province"

I've come to the realization that my tides are receeding a bit; the waves are slow and far out, and while calm, the shore is waiting for the return of the sea. I don't know entirely where I am right now; placewise there is little doubt I'm in the near empty former room of the old house, but mindwise, I'm in another province entirely... distant, quiet, confounded a bit by the language. I am curious about you; do these words mean anything, do they communicate a feeling, and do you feel it? As society has grown more and more bent to the individual, you'd think we could talk more about emotions than we do. Would you call this melancholy? As for me, I can't say that this is the case, but I don't know what else it could be. I'm withdrawn but I don't need support; I'm where I am, whereever that is, and will find my way to somewhere else. I'm sure of it, in fact there's no way around it.

I used to fight these swings of mood, now they interest me in their complexity and how ultimately our emotions control us, unless of course you've shrugged them off altogether. I haven't... I want a range of emotion, and the illogic behind them. They don't make sense and come on unprovoked, but what doesn't? Life isn't ever restrained and doesn't ask permission. It seems more reasonable to accept and experience this ebbing of neuro-chemical tides then beg for the sea to come back in right now, when in due course Shakespeare's "inconstant moon" will guide them back in to wash over you, to play again in the waves and foam.

In olden days the prevailing word for mood was 'humours.' How right they indeed were.

jaybird found this for you @ 00:55 in Journaling the Infinite | | permalink



{ Thursday, 22 May, 2003 }

Alchemy with light shocks physicists

Alchemy with light shocks physicists "The degree of control over light really is quite shocking"

jaybird found this for you @ 17:08 in Science, Quantum & Space | | permalink