Even in absurdity, sacrament.     Even in hardship, holiness.     Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.    Even in paradox, blessedness


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"Life expands or shrinks in proportion to one's courage."    ~Anain Nin

{ Wednesday, 24 May, 2006 }

Sexual ornaments grow out of all proportion

The male obsession with size appears to be universal, according to a new survey of animal species where males use ornamental body parts to attract females. The study showed that sexual ornaments – such as antlers or a peacock's feathery display – become disproportionately large as body size increases.

Most body parts grow proportionally with the rest of the body as individuals of a species become larger, although scientists have long known that visual cues of reproductive prowess are a special case.

Now, in the largest survey to date, James Brown at the University of New Mexico, Albuquerque, US, and his colleagues have examined the proportions of 284 ornament-bearing species to see whether the tendency was truly universal. They found that in virtually every case, ornament size grew by roughly the square of the overall growth rate.

jaybird found this for you @ 20:38 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Tuesday, 13 September, 2005 }

The Thing

At the end of a long and probably very boring formal dinner in honour of the retirement of the President of France, Charles de Gaulle, British Prime Minister, Harold Macmillan, turned to Madame de Gaulle and asked politely what she was looking forward to in her retirement. Quick as a flash the elderly lady replied, "A penis." Dead silence fell on the table, everybody wondering if they had heard right.

Macmillan had been trained all his life never to appear shocked, but even he was a bit taken aback. He mumbled, "Well, I can see your point of view, don't have much time for that sort of thing nowadays". An unapologetic Madame De Gaulle insisted, "I believe it is the case for all women, everything can be endured as long as we have a penis." The silence became deafening for many, many seconds, until De Gaulle's characteristic voice rose, "My dear," he said, "I believe et eez pronounced 'APpiness'..."

jaybird found this for you @ 20:35 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Tuesday, 26 July, 2005 }

surely it wasn't my cave

Ancient phallus unearthed in cave

A sculpted and polished phallus found in a German cave is among the earliest representations of male sexuality ever uncovered, researchers say... The prehistoric "tool" was reassembled from 14 fragments of siltstone. Its life size suggests it may well have been used as a sex aid by its Ice Age makers, scientists report." In addition to being a symbolic representation of male genitalia, it was also at times used for knapping flints..."

You really just have to love the BBC.

jaybird found this for you @ 12:08 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Tuesday, 19 July, 2005 }

Sex That Makes The Earth Move

"While no one reported spotting Jesus in the bedroom, some said the Holy Spirit showed up during foreplay."
When people are sexually excited in general, and when they have an orgasm, in particular, they stimulate their pituitary gland... That, in turn, triggers morphine-like endorphins, which cause people to think that sex is a somewhat transcendent experience. Such states can also be created by hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation, or hypoglycemia, low blood sugar. People feel like it's a spiritual, religious experience: `I saw shimmering waves of gold...' In fact, it can be explained by lack of blood sugar or hypoxia...

Well, that's a boring explanation. I'd rather think of it, and believe it to be a moment of true and utter communion, our ecstasy relates to a common universal feeling, an original feeling, and brings our filtered minds closer to that primal and raw wave of emotion that comes with creation.

Slightly better, eh?

jaybird found this for you @ 20:14 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Friday, 27 May, 2005 }

bronze age love song

Ancient Egyptian Sexuality [via orlin grabbe]

...Revel in pleasure while your life endures
And deck your head with myrrh. Be richly clad
In white and perfumed linen; like the gods
Anointed be; and never weary grow
In eager quest of what your heard desires -
Do as it prompts you...

jaybird found this for you @ 11:46 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Wednesday, 11 May, 2005 }

A history of sex

Evidence that people have been promiscuous for a long time

By examining the DNA of living people, Dr Hammer and his colleagues have found that far fewer men than women pass their genes on to subsequent generations. In short, a small number of men have been putting it about a lot, thus outcompeting their lesser rivals.

The researchers draw their conclusion from differences between the variability of mitochondrial DNA (a type of DNA which follows the female line) and Y-chromosome DNA (which follows the male line). They examined the mitochondrial and Y-chromosome DNA of three widely separated populations—the Khoisan of southern Africa, the Khalks of Mongolia and the highlanders of Papua New Guinea—to see how those DNA sequences differed between the groups. What they found was that there is a lot of variability in the mitochondrial DNA, and much less in the Y-chromosome DNA.

jaybird found this for you @ 08:15 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Friday, 22 April, 2005 }

Stone age hardcore

Erotica may date back to Stone Age

German archaeologists have found what they believe is Europe's earliest known clay figure of a male, along with a female figure that they think once was attached to the male in a sexual position. Together, the two finds could represent the earliest 3D depiction of a copulating human couple, according to the archaeological team. Clay is difficult to date accurately, the team indicate, but markings on the objects, their style and the place in which they were found suggest the figures date to 5200 BC.

jaybird found this for you @ 11:31 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Wednesday, 09 February, 2005 }

gettin' jiggy pre-79 a.d.

Pompeii unveils erotic frescoes
The frescoes with their scenes of explicit sex are expected to resurrect the debate over "scandalous" Roman art that raged last year when curators unveiled a collection of ancient erotica that had been kept under lock and key for two centuries. In that exhibition, more than 300 artefacts unearthed from Pompeii, Herculaneum and other ancient Roman towns outraged the Roman Catholic Church.

With steamy ancient pics!

jaybird found this for you @ 11:48 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Monday, 13 December, 2004 }

cult of the holy winkie

Aw yeah. Gimme that ol' time phallus worship.

The ancient concept of the sacred phallus in spirituality, art, and culture (that is, before moralistic taboos attempted to mute phallic representations with fig leaves for the geniality of civilization). Obviously NSFW.

Since earliest human prehistory, the image of the phallus has been considered a symbol of the means by which the Supreme Being procreates the Universe. Some consider the worship of the phallus to be at the origin of every religion, based upon belief that the phallus is the image of the creator in mankind. Contempt, degradation, or debasement of this sacred symbol is thought to provoke the anger of the gods, for the one who scorns the very symbol of life is abandoning the human race to extinction.

jaybird found this for you @ 12:31 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Monday, 15 November, 2004 }

The Joy of Sexual Physics

As we have seen before, very strange things happen at speeds close to the speed of light. In the article to which you refer, we saw that if your boyfriend was oscillating on top of you at a speed close to the speed of light, then due to the relativistic theory of length contraction, his penis would get shorter and shorter the faster he went. At the speed of light, this would lead to an interesting paradox in which you would see his penis having no length at all, but would still be managing to have sex with it.

Sometimes, that really is the best thing, theoretically speaking...

jaybird found this for you @ 22:55 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Monday, 18 October, 2004 }

Late night entry: Phallomancy, the ancient and esteemed art of grasping one's personality by the wankle (via Reality Carnival).

jaybird found this for you @ 23:46 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Wednesday, 18 August, 2004 }

The Strangest Children's Book of

The Strangest Children's Book of the 19th Century Teaches You the Facts of Life—Complete With Singing Vagina: Spanking the Monkey

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Everything Is Funnier With Monkeys. If J. Fred Muggs, Lancelot Link, or zoo-house fecal tossing have taught us anything, it is that every human endeavor is enriched by the addition of a screaming, leg-humping, ass-biting primate. Even, say, sex education. I beg your pardon? you might ask. Clearly you're not acquainted with the strangest children's book of the 19th century—Sammy Tubbs, the Boy Doctor, and Sponsie, the Troublesome Monkey (1874). Written by health crusader and mail-order magnate Dr. Edward Bliss Foote (1829-1906), it's the five-volume Manhattan saga of the 12-year-old son of freed slaves. It does indeed also feature a sidekick monkey named Sponsie—and yes, as promised, he is troublesome.

jaybird found this for you @ 17:09 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Friday, 20 February, 2004 }

It is Friday: Can semen

It is Friday: Can semen cure the blues?

A researcher says male ejaculate may act as an antidepressant -- but other scientists aren't swallowing his theory.

jaybird found this for you @ 15:48 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Thursday, 12 February, 2004 }

Where time stands still: Hihokan

Where time stands still: Hihokan - Erotic Museums in Japan

Once upon a time...ah, lets be exact: In April 1971 Japan's first Hihokan which stands for "House of Hidden Treasures" opened its doors in Awa, Okushima. However, the exhibits where limited to phallic-vulvic altar symbols and intercourse themed antiques as you could see since centuries in bigger Shinto shrines anyway.

jaybird found this for you @ 08:48 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Tuesday, 10 February, 2004 }

Much taboo about nothing Nice

Much taboo about nothing

Nice essay about the sexual and artistic urges.

jaybird found this for you @ 10:33 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Saturday, 24 January, 2004 }

Archbishop opposes Kama Sutra carnival

Archbishop opposes Kama Sutra carnival plan

The Archbishop of Rio de Janeiro says samba dancers should be arrested if they go ahead with plans to re-enact the Kama Sutra during the 2004 carnival... The samba school has... promised that sexual positions from the book will be demonstrated by dancers and giant sculptures.

jaybird found this for you @ 17:44 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Sunday, 26 October, 2003 }

Vatican: this activity is 'like

Vatican: this activity is 'like Ferrari in 1st gear'

jaybird found this for you @ 22:27 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Wednesday, 22 October, 2003 }

A naughty comparison between a

A naughty comparison between a naturally occuring fluid and moisturizer. Possibly NSFW.

jaybird found this for you @ 18:03 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Monday, 08 September, 2003 }

Doonesbury@'s Sunday comic discussed a

Doonesbury@'s Sunday comic discussed a discrete topic of which I do admit familiarity.

jaybird found this for you @ 16:30 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Sunday, 22 June, 2003 }

Lions, tigers and Priapus...Oh my!

Lions, tigers and Priapus...Oh my! link via Bhikku

jaybird found this for you @ 12:14 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

{ Monday, 26 May, 2003 }

It is with humility and

It is with humility and frankness that I submit the following (ahem):

Your Ultimate Purity Score Is...
CategoryYour Score Average
Explored the pleasures of the flesh
It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive 63.2%
A fool for love, but not always
Done the nasty, but not creatively
Gayness 3.6%
Makes Dr. Frank-n-Furter look tame
F*$%ing Sick93.8%
Refreshingly normal
You are 55.5% pure
Average Score: 71.4%

I'm just over halfway "pure." So I'm not a choir boy or Ivory soap. But I do karaoke sometimes and don't smell too bad.

jaybird found this for you @ 23:32 in Carnality, Naughtiness & Fun | | permalink

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All material contained within this website, excluding external links and items listed otherwise,
 are registered with Creative Commons. All photographic works, logos, and creative writing

are Copyright 2005 by theodore "jay" joslin and joyous jostling studios. Thank you, Wanderer, for All. 


i am jay joslin: a spirit-fed mountain hopping lover of everything, an ordained lefty-veggie-homo, and bon-vivant go-go dancing with all the messenger mockingbirds of morning. 



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Letter Excerpt:


Ten Considerations for Being Well n this Goofy Universe


0. If you find yourself wonderstruck, don’t forget to return the favor.

1. Always be of service to the whole and the Holy. You’ll find that the Holy will reciprocate by being of service to your becoming Whole.

2. You will be called upon to use your mind and your vision in ways I cannot possibly glimpse. Never turn down an offer to shine that light so uniquely yours to help others in their darkness, and you’ll find that when it’s your turn to be in the night that there’ll be someone along the way who happens to have a little glow to share .

3. The rewards of being true to yourself  are infinite, even when outwardly your efforts are met with nothing.

4. You’ll also see that  knowledge and wisdom will come from within yourself through your own struggle and curiosity... your loved ones may guide you to insight, but yours is the power to choose it.

5. You’ll find that some of your choices could’ve been better, or at times were downright stupid. That’s okay... I have a closet full of reckless decisions, but without making them I wouldn’t have the slightest idea of what a good one might feel like if I tried it on.

6. Your growth will be a mysterious, comic, ecstatic and sometimes scary ride, and I pray that you strive to savor each minute of it, even the most difficult or embarrassing minutes. Don’t count on second chances.

7. In those times when everything collapses around you, and what’s left won’t go right, don’t forget your chances of being alive in this solar system, in this galaxy, are a little on the slim side. So slim in fact that it could be called a miracle to breathe this air, drink this water, and have whet ever predicament you’re having no matter how you shake, rattle and roll it. So go with the cosmic flow and always choose something over nothing, while remembering that there’s a little of each one hidden in both.

8. Respond as best as you can with love to adversity rather than reacting with fear... Love, in any situation and  being the primordial source and essence of ALL THIS STUFF, leaves / enters us with the most possible ways out / in.

9. Whatever you’re doing, celebrate the process of doing as much, if not more, than what you’ve got when you’re done. Magic lives in the action.

9 ½ . All matter is energy. All energy is infinite. We are but raindrops falling to the ocean, a short time in this shape until we’re reunited with the expanse from which we came. Your delicate yet sturdy, resilient body is a temporary shelter of energy that has swam the universe eternally and will continue eternally. You are a sudden crystallization of the infinite. One must ask themself, therefore, why be bored?

9 3/4 . Choosing to live in the moment is courageous but becomes effortless once you begin...feeling obligated to survive in the past or future is dangerous and is difficult to continue. It’s one of the few risks I’d recommend not taking, right up there with trusting icons and shrugging off coincidences.

10. The Universe itself it not confusing, we humans just like it that way. Do frogs seem bewildered , butterflies befuddled and amoebas addled? Nope, just us, my child. So, whenever things just don’t make sense, just take a deep breath and laugh as best you can, because that’s what you get for choosing this goofy, unpredictable place called Earth to embody yourself upon.