Even in absurdity, sacrament.     Even in hardship, holiness.     Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.    Even in paradox, blessedness


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"Life expands or shrinks in proportion to one's courage."    ~Anain Nin

{ Tuesday, 30 August, 2005 }

Cats in sinks.

"Its about cats. In sinks." [via metachat]

jaybird found this for you @ 16:22 in cat blogging | | permalink

{ Friday, 31 December, 2004 }

The year in cats...

  • Ursula announces her candidacy for President: Let Freedom Roar. Ursula is due to be on the campaign trail after she awakens from her nap. The planned route is around the backyard, on top of a car, and through the hole in the fence. Bush and Kerry were unavailable for comment.
  • Avatar is to be Ursula's vice-presidential running mate: Not to be overshadowed by the Democrats, Ursula the Cat announced her running-mate for the US presidency while attempting to eat a fallen leaf on the sunny deck of her home. Attending the rally were a gnat, a few startled houseplants, and the ghost of "Lambchop."
  • My cats accept their party's nomination: The delegates, which consisted of a beheaded grasshopper, a previously chewed stick of gum, an ambitious flea and a very liberal grass clipping, expressed their desire for candidates worthy of bringing radical change to American politics.

  • The would-be feline President and Vice-President comment on the final debate.
  • U and A sign up for official Friday cat blogging duties, but promptly fall asleep.
  • The duo on their respective thrones: it's reigning cats...

  • Their extremely silly Cat-mas post: Let's just say for the sake of fun that Avatar does indeed, want to be a spaceship. How do we do this? My first thought was to utilize the ecstatic shamanic techniques of brujos and ayahuasceros, designing an elaborate ritual to shapeshift my little Persian cat into a mid-size interstellar vessel...
  • U and A show the world which of them is top cat and which of them could care less about hierarchical political systems. Or, perhaps the human is projecting too much.

    Happy New Year, cat bloggers!

    jaybird found this for you @ 19:08 in cat blogging | | permalink

    { Friday, 24 December, 2004 }


    For today's cat blogging, the cats have gone on a bit of a strike to protest the bawdy and silly entry for last week. No holiday cheer, no chasing down of jingle-elves, but instead, a presentation of their collective might and power shall be today's subject.

    This simple picture explains in great detail the complex power sharing arrangements Ursula and Avatar have made. A brief summation: Ursula has all the power, Avatar is too spaced out to care. She surveys the entire universe from her all knowing eyes, he dreams of cheese. Avatar has long since submitted to Ursula's dominion, and is content to exist powerlessly, as an artisitic statement I suppose. Ursula's drive to conquer all doesn't faze Avatar's puffy-whiteness; perhaps, in his buddha-mind, he understands that all power is illusion, and is content to let Ursula exist in the charade of might.

    Or, perhaps I'm projecting a bit much. At any rate, Happy Subversive, Imaginative and Feline Hoidays to all.

    jaybird found this for you @ 16:53 in cat blogging | | permalink

    { Friday, 17 December, 2004 }

    do they know it's cat-mas time at all?

    The cats have somehow learned that this is the time of year that beings offer gifts and tributes to other beings for some odd reason. And this year, they want in. In fact, they have produced a list, and delivered it to me by way of their spokesthing Twinkleface, an imaginary ball of light from another dimension. I tried to explain to the cats that this custom is no longer quaint, but rather a multi-billion dollar commercially driven industry no longer rooted in spiritual origin. The unreal sphere of luminescence, while sympathetic, explained that their wishes were quite realistic and feasible.

    I asked the fantastical illuminated orb in what holiday context they intend to receive their presents. "Dude," said the illusory emissary, "they're cats. They have no lord or savior, no battle nor exodus to commemorate. They just want stuff. They have no faith other than a perfect path to bliss," whereupon it suddenly vanished, trailing off to another reality to play opposite the late Sir Laurence Olivier and a block of Camembert in an adaptation of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Elysium."

    Ursula's list was actually easy enough to conjure up (mostly):

  • Continued dominion and sovereignty over all Creation, and zealous loyalty from my subjects.
  • A crown Photoshopped upon my head.
  • A moratorium on any nickname that involves the suffix "-bucket."
  • I would like you to blast Avatar into outer space.

    One through three, done!

    Number four, blasting her co-cat into space, would prove a bit more problematic. You see, I love Avatar, as I suspect she does beneath her food-bowl rivalry and occasional bath-mat spats. I dismissed her wish, thinking she would just be pleased to rule over the Universe with my full support. Which she did; once I pasted the bejeweled crown upon her glorious head, she pretty much forgot about blasting Avatar into outer space. Well, he didn't.

    Avatar's list consisted of two requests:

  • I (Avatar the Cat) don't want to be called "Mr. Tits." That is a bad name.
  • I (Avatar the Cat) want to be a spaceship.

    That's right, my little fluffy white cat wants to be a spaceship, or at least, that's the humor angle he wants me to follow on this Friday Cat Blogging post. Let's just say for the sake of fun that Avatar does indeed, want to be a spaceship. How do we do this? My first thought was to utilize the ecstatic shamanic techniques of brujos and ayahuasceros, designing an elaborate ritual to shapeshift my little Persian cat into a mid-size interstellar vessel. However, it's late and I have to do a talk at a Kiwanis Club tomorrow for work, and such rituals run the risk of altering reality to such a point that participating in mass-hallucination and transubstantiation of matter might impair my job duties... slightly.

    The next go was to take him to a quantum physicist and to zap him into his new identity but alas, it was late and the only skilled professional of any type was my downstairs neighbor who repairs toilets at Chucky Cheese. Twinkleface, who lives entirely in a realm of make-believe, simply couldn't be bothered to perform this magic when it was really needed. I had only two remaining options in order to secure this one simple gift; to Photoshop him onto an existing spaceship and hope he'll forget, or to throw him into the air at a high velocity, thus satisfying Ursula and at least giving him a moment's acceleration toward the stars.

    I asked Avatar if he wouldn't mind going with the Photoshop option, and he looked back at me absentmindedly because he is rather absent of mind. That's it, I thought, I'll go with Photoshopping him and I'll hold him really close to the screen. Besides, these lists the cats have given to me by way of Twinkleface may just be a farce, a way for that artificial entity to push an agenda of its own, pretending that the cats wanted these things. That must be it; I've been played by antimatter. Avatar protested at being manhandled off the bathmat (imagine a blast-off) and taken over to the computer to approve his present. He squirmed and fussed. He didn't care about the damn spaceship; he wanted to be Avatar, a cat, free and able to give and receive love.

    And that, my friends, is the true spirit of Cat-mas (I think); letting our loved ones be what they want to be... maybe a spaceship, maybe a cat, it all depends on the whims of the unreal and your own damn gullibility.


    jaybird found this for you @ 11:37 in cat blogging | | permalink

    { Friday, 10 December, 2004 }

    it's reigning cats

    Friday Cat Blogging:
    fricat121004u.jpg fricat121004a.jpg

    Ursula, on her kitchen throne, surveying creation, and Avatar, on his regal stump, doing his best Joe Peschi impersonation. Really. On last week's Carnival of the Cats, Jack from the People's Republic of Seabrook noted a lack of evidence of feet on these felines. Alas, this week, the mystery shall continue.

    Join in the fun at Carnival of the Cats.

    jaybird found this for you @ 11:03 in cat blogging | | permalink

    { Friday, 03 December, 2004 }

    inaugural laziness

    fricat120304a.jpg fricat120304u.jpg

    Avatar and Ursula;

    both having productive days, lunging foreward with the first post for this wacky, yet calm and uniting meme... be sure to catch all the little beasites at Carnival of the Cats.

    jaybird found this for you @ 18:11 in cat blogging | | permalink

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    are Copyright 2005 by theodore "jay" joslin and joyous jostling studios. Thank you, Wanderer, for All. 


  • i am jay joslin: a spirit-fed mountain hopping lover of everything, an ordained lefty-veggie-homo, and bon-vivant go-go dancing with all the messenger mockingbirds of morning. 



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    Letter Excerpt:


    Ten Considerations for Being Well n this Goofy Universe


    0. If you find yourself wonderstruck, donít forget to return the favor.

    1. Always be of service to the whole and the Holy. Youíll find that the Holy will reciprocate by being of service to your becoming Whole.

    2. You will be called upon to use your mind and your vision in ways I cannot possibly glimpse. Never turn down an offer to shine that light so uniquely yours to help others in their darkness, and youíll find that when itís your turn to be in the night that thereíll be someone along the way who happens to have a little glow to share .

    3. The rewards of being true to yourself  are infinite, even when outwardly your efforts are met with nothing.

    4. Youíll also see that  knowledge and wisdom will come from within yourself through your own struggle and curiosity... your loved ones may guide you to insight, but yours is the power to choose it.

    5. Youíll find that some of your choices couldíve been better, or at times were downright stupid. Thatís okay... I have a closet full of reckless decisions, but without making them I wouldnít have the slightest idea of what a good one might feel like if I tried it on.

    6. Your growth will be a mysterious, comic, ecstatic and sometimes scary ride, and I pray that you strive to savor each minute of it, even the most difficult or embarrassing minutes. Donít count on second chances.

    7. In those times when everything collapses around you, and whatís left wonít go right, donít forget your chances of being alive in this solar system, in this galaxy, are a little on the slim side. So slim in fact that it could be called a miracle to breathe this air, drink this water, and have whet ever predicament youíre having no matter how you shake, rattle and roll it. So go with the cosmic flow and always choose something over nothing, while remembering that thereís a little of each one hidden in both.

    8. Respond as best as you can with love to adversity rather than reacting with fear... Love, in any situation and  being the primordial source and essence of ALL THIS STUFF, leaves / enters us with the most possible ways out / in.

    9. Whatever youíre doing, celebrate the process of doing as much, if not more, than what youíve got when youíre done. Magic lives in the action.

    9 Ĺ . All matter is energy. All energy is infinite. We are but raindrops falling to the ocean, a short time in this shape until weíre reunited with the expanse from which we came. Your delicate yet sturdy, resilient body is a temporary shelter of energy that has swam the universe eternally and will continue eternally. You are a sudden crystallization of the infinite. One must ask themself, therefore, why be bored?

    9 3/4 . Choosing to live in the moment is courageous but becomes effortless once you begin...feeling obligated to survive in the past or future is dangerous and is difficult to continue. Itís one of the few risks Iíd recommend not taking, right up there with trusting icons and shrugging off coincidences.

    10. The Universe itself it not confusing, we humans just like it that way. Do frogs seem bewildered , butterflies befuddled and amoebas addled? Nope, just us, my child. So, whenever things just donít make sense, just take a deep breath and laugh as best you can, because thatís what you get for choosing this goofy, unpredictable place called Earth to embody yourself upon.