Even in absurdity, sacrament.     Even in hardship, holiness.     Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.    Even in paradox, blessedness


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Birdfeathers, Moonbeams,
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PERIODIC: in passing


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lasiar's lair*

PERIODIC: laughing~knees

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< # oddbloggers + >

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points of departure


post human blues*

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the obvious?

the path*

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this journal blug

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total viscosity breakdown

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utility fog

utter wonder

via negativa

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wood's lot

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world changing


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* Latest additions... welcome!

[?]= Seems to be down or on hiatus.
Please report broken links for my blog audit.

"Life expands or shrinks in proportion to one's courage."    ~Anain Nin

{ Friday, 16 September, 2005 }

Silly Midnight Post

Isn't everyone looking for something to dip into the Ranch? Or is it just me?

jaybird found this for you @ 00:49 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

{ Friday, 28 January, 2005 }

a golden whatever

Red wine and a cold night
Ever thankful for friendship and crazy possibilities
And despite the confines of body and peculiarities of heart
While half-asleep, half-crazy,
I do declare that
Life, this ever-increasingly discombobulated shadow-play of simulacra
Is, indeed, good,
And you know darn well to whom these words are sent,
These holy syllables caught within the vibrant web of perception,
Uplifting toward the sacred and the raw-unspoilt alike,
Within inherant permission to deviate from the standards of the mundane, amen.

jaybird found this for you @ 01:40 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

{ Saturday, 18 December, 2004 }

Wasabi Peanuts, et al.

Just had an absolutely marvelous party, replete with strangers, a solstice ritual, and newly invented warm beverages. Tonight was my first attempt at fondue, with a Double Gloustershire and organic Bleu. I think it went over well; the stranger to friend ratio was about 1:4, fairly nice for a convocation of this size. The cats were well behaved and so was I, a statistical miracle. The groovy part was that "warm and cozy" was the theme, so I got away with staying in my pajamas the whole evening. The ratio to hot toddie to cold beverages consumed was about .5:2. The ratio of sexual innuendo to messianic parable was approximately 3:1.

jaybird found this for you @ 23:48 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

{ Tuesday, 30 November, 2004 }

Two very fine beers in my low-tolerance system, a stormy night, and nostalgia by the bucket load finds this article very appropriate for posting: Concise Timetable of Beer History.

  • Noah's provisions included beer on the Ark.

  • 4300 BC, Babylonian clay tablets detail recipes for beer.

  • Beer was a vital part of civilization and the Babylonian, Assyrian, Egyptian, Hebrew, Chinese, and Inca cultures.

  • Babylonians produced beer in large quantities with around 20 varieties.

  • Beer at this time was so valued that it was sometimes used to pay workers as part of their daily wages.

    Chin up to that!

    jaybird found this for you @ 23:53 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 11 July, 2004 }

    "Holding On"

    Grasping at straws and drawing hexagrams
    Under rearranging constellations and shifting skies
    There's a wind that's blowing us all in a tizzy
    And my kite dances the Apocrypha in the gale.
    Where are you, O Gilded One,
    Who they say is writ in the leaves of trees,
    That brings ease to my voice
    And steadiness to my feet?
    Are you indeed secreted in the dark of passing shadows,
    Are you the graffiti under the bridge
    Or the troll holding the spraypaint and an inkling of the truth?
    Don't you see,
    There's a destiny missing it's fulcrum,
    A soul sans the shape it belongs in.
    And the whole thing is reduced to poetry in your absence?
    There is a somewhere and a somewho
    Which began as fledglings,
    Now on the nest's edge,
    The verge of realization,
    And maybe... maybe...
    This mere ink and this mere paper
    And those mere glancing eyes
    Are the tickets indeed to improbable crossroads
    Where Choice lane and Challenge street meet
    And I'll wait for you on the corner
    A dandelion in one hand and a thank you in the other,
    And where we'll wander is the Sage's provenance,
    But I'm willing to trespass through the crazed neighbor's yard
    And on to the witching wood
    If only you would come down the way to hold me, fearless,
    Chancing the wilds of the winds
    With this lonely, mad and gentle fool,
    And my pockets stuffed with dreams.

    jaybird found this for you @ 02:05 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 18 January, 2004 }

    "Code and Kindling"

    Follow the movements of collective history
    In the meteoric trails of collective future
    It's the path of our dancesteps.
    Where they lead, who can say?
    Yet it I feel freedom as the primordial fire beckons
    And we ascend the flames.
    Dance on, sprites and visions,
    Carry with your sanctified sway
    A message to those waiting
    For a taste of the quenching fire
    Whose code and kindling is the promise of love.

    jaybird found this for you @ 01:42 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 21 December, 2003 }

    "Writ in Galactic Spin"

    Animatronic fantasy-lands,
    Light fantastic fills the glands,
    We crawl from the mud
    To bathe ourselves in diamonds.
    To dance cheek to cheek with robots,
    We'd give a million tears
    To taste the tip of the tongue of luxury
    To live for an hour in the extravagant illusion that we are... civilized.
    This is good here,
    Wherever here is, a safe haven,
    From the cold, icy designs of mass artlessness, the graying of beauty.
    This is sanctuary;
    A tribal fire-pit where songs are still sung and
    The actors daub themselves in rainbow
    To portray, again, the dream of our people.
    This Saturday night is no different than
    Two thousand years gone;
    We worship Holy Mystery in the light of fire,
    Bathe in it's all consuming ardor,
    And cast to ashes the slim hopes we've gathered
    In the meager yet precious harvest from the plains of our finite human time.
    I cling to nothing in this substantiation of nothingness, eternity,
    But stand vigilant to watch for the next dancer
    To enter the chambers of infinity.

    jaybird found this for you @ 02:44 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Monday, 15 December, 2003 }


    He beckons at the periphery of my eyesight;
    Drunken, haggard, at a loss for exactitude
    I reach across abyssal lengths to meet his eyes
    The sweet, welcoming vision of new year skies.
    Our words impossibly gapped by a stretch pf imagination
    His shadow a reflection of a future of my heartpounding determination.
    I burst my skin in wanting;
    I eclipse my own body in the passion of joining another soul
    On it's way toward a completion consecrated by sweat.
    This mad dash through the museum of compulsion
    Exhibits of fulfillment awaiting love,
    I run through, wildly, unrestrained,
    For I'm unapologetic in my yearning for light
    And his shadow that falls across my heart
    Is, for now, certainly enough to do.

    jaybird found this for you @ 22:50 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Tuesday, 09 December, 2003 }

    Blood=Alcohol Put The Key In

    Blood=Alcohol Put The Key In The Lock Test

    At 2.0, it's just impossible. Mostly due to the fact that by that point, one would certainly be working on dying instead of opening doors with a skelaton key. [flash] via MeFi

    jaybird found this for you @ 00:24 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 07 December, 2003 }

    "Mirthday Present"

    The confluence of days
    Leads up to this giving and receiving of time
    Confounds and astounds
    Surrounds and abounds...
    A million angels dance on the head of a pin
    As I grip my chair while the world spins.
    There is no getting off easy when it comes to age.
    Indeed, there is nothing but thankfulness to emerge
    Through yet another portal of the finite.
    Don't ask me to be sensible,
    I just want to watch the dancing
    And succumb to the sparks that bounce off lovers.
    I cannot deny that blood that moves me
    Nor the love that waits embedded within my breathing
    Hopeful to embrace, to surrender, to be lost in a kiss.
    The utter freeze on the other side of this door will not delay love;
    Nor will it cease the flow of wonder,
    Dizzying as it may be.

    jaybird found this for you @ 02:00 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Friday, 05 December, 2003 }

    Dang! Tonight's show was as

    Dang! Tonight's show was as smooth as it could be, minus a few minor backstage glitches, and was so powerful that I began to cry in the last scene (where my character, a developmentally disabled adult, says goodbye to the spirit that possessed him). There are moment of vacuous silence from the audience (we were nearly at capacity tonight--- not bad for a snow day) where I've realized that people's comfort zone is being poked and prodded. This is a good thing. To see a 'different' person on stage stretches most folks' safety net of stimuli. Let alone the retarded person becoming someone else mid-stream. It's a nerve wracking thing for me to do, but it most be done, and frankly whether I'm playing Mickey or the spirit that overtakes him, I get so lost in the role that I forget exactly what's going on, and suddenly there's a flow to go with.

    Alright, I'm writing this after consuming several pints of honorary beer. This is not just a stream of consciousness, it's a bloody torrent. The show wraps tomorrow to a much fuller house (we had weather issues). It will be a bittersweet parting, that script and I, but my part will stick with, through all my days.

    jaybird found this for you @ 00:45 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Friday, 28 November, 2003 }

    "Drunken, Fleeting Angel"

    I'm the boy with the rainbow, he said,
    Twirling the sky with a smile mile-wide.
    I'm the one you've been looking for, he shouted,
    With an eye-glisten my fingers listen for the invitation of his touch.
    Fantasy is not far away, I said, as the wine cooled my throat.
    For it is as real as I want, closing my eyes to surmise the surprise,
    Waiting for me under the arc of his day-glo skies.
    I will not hold back from passion, fiction or true diction,
    Life is short and I will not resort to quivering and stammering;
    I'm a human and I love and I love the idea of love,
    And I welcome him, without refrain, to join me in even my passing dreams.
    I welcome him in the folds of my darkest hours,
    In the steam of cleansing powers.
    While away with me, beguile my sensibilities, oh noble shadow,
    Whose form is forthcoming and clearer with each passing minute.
    Do not ask me to be reasonable,
    But demand all else and I will give unquestionable bliss.
    These words I give to him are but a drunken, fleeting angel,
    Who like a mad star searches out yet more brightness in the din and dark.
    My sense is sacrificed in a spray of fantastic realization;
    I cannot hold back, beloved, from what is true.
    My song no longer can be rectified by what is observable,
    I'm painting these wishes with invisible ink,
    Longing for more, longing for a wink.

    jaybird found this for you @ 00:36 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 16 November, 2003 }


    The difference between God and Goddess is inconsequential We're all mythic flesh Satyrs, nymphs, titans and muses, Dancing, ribald, but for a moment upon the gilded Earth Beholden to starlight, transfixed by the temporal delight of the body. Yet this everyman moves like a snake under the charmer's enchantment His sleek ecstatic rhythm entices me to freedom, to desire, To lose myself in the shimmer of his winding, spellbinding praise. Whatever the pleasures of this human frame, join me; Let's be moved by the hidden music, and bump Into strangers around dark and sultry corners... Let's meet our eyes with casual smiles, And agree that separation is only as real as the word itself. Let's commune with the pervasive holy molecules That speckle eternity, and even this stained floor. Let's be human, caught up with the shadow kisses and Folded notes of promise that pass between the pulsations of wishes. Let's merge our yelling that launches arrow-like toward the dawn, Let's be clear and brilliant beacons of purpose amid the haze of passion. Just move with me, Touch and abscond with me, Dissolve and evolve with me, I invite you, your illusive name, To this collective bonfire of what has been for too long withheld, And rise to reality, as a sweet offering To the scribes of starlight, the saints of fate, To be more than an idea, But a face I kiss, With utmost care, At the pronouncement of morning. No language can wrap around you, No whispers cloak your identity; But fingers, yes, my own worshiping Maps your slight wisp of a form... For you may exist at the edge of my delirium But you live in the heart of my longing, Swinging with wild abandon in the jungle of obscured fantasy. Be real, you ideal; Come close, you veiled ghost... You and I are only parted by circumstance, And the Gods and Goddesses that long to know eachother will no longer be satisfied With longing alone But with communing, pure and true, In the cusp of our joined body.

    Mostly written while absorbed in the dancefloor trance at the gay club. Also quite tipsy, but it turned out well. Mildly edited the morning after.

    jaybird found this for you @ 03:21 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Thursday, 30 October, 2003 }

    "Verse for a Friend"

    I've got a stone in my pocket
    Had it for years
    Found it long ago,
    It's something solid that tumbles around
    When all else crumbles down
    So much dust blowing about, y'know.

    jaybird found this for you @ 23:47 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 14 September, 2003 }

    "Poem from the Barroom"

    Thou, the breadth and dearth of the rainbow
    You cover all I see, all light filtered through you,
    An untouchable, shimmering illusion
    Where fingers flail as they attempt to touch.
    Passing through, we're all conducting color,
    Dancing honorifics to the surging of passion,
    Writhing on the dancefloor, lead by drunken, wild hearts
    Yearning for touch, breath, secret words
    Spoken under shadows.
    Shine bright in this brief allowance
    Lure wanderers and madmen to your end
    Where we will invoke the possible,
    Tender hands, made of whole galaxies,
    Desiring tender clasping
    Within the crazy, inordinate whims of now.
    Illusion, phantasm, manifested fantasy,
    For this brief prayer
    Come to life.

    jaybird found this for you @ 01:10 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Saturday, 30 August, 2003 }

    "Crossroads of Destiny"

    Thy love lives at the edge of a wing,
    Pushed into the night in migration toward a warmer sun
    At the greening edge of land reverted to the magical;
    Manifest in the nape of a neck, the arc of a smile.
    You say that everywhere is your home,
    And you live at the edge of eyesight,
    Yet under the stars you litter the trails in stardust
    That you may be pursued.
    You know foxtrails and bluejay branches
    You hop and skip the maps of trickery
    And only appear at your most elusive/
    I have touched you,
    I say with a breath of confession.
    Yet you, elusive one, record not my yearning;
    And move along and breathe yet another landscape into being.
    We are at the apex of inevitability;
    Humanity has conquered the higher mountains,
    What remains are the valleys defied of expectation and want...
    From primordial churning all began and shall return...
    Grasp, therefore, this letter as you would a rope
    Pull your bootstrings together,
    And venture fearless into the crossroads of destiny.

    jaybird found this for you @ 02:37 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Sunday, 17 August, 2003 }

    Crikey! Britain is running low

    Crikey! Britain is running low on beer Brewing giant Carlsberg-Tetley was forced to ship in emergency supplies of lager from abroad because of this summer's heatwave, it emerged today.

    jaybird found this for you @ 01:15 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Saturday, 02 August, 2003 }

    "Two Words"

    Work party. Inexplicable indulgence. Hilarious consequences.

    jaybird found this for you @ 00:04 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    { Monday, 30 June, 2003 }

    "Enlightening Bugs"

    Tonight, the lightening bugs had their gala parade, their official debut, as if the night was deeply scattered with endless souls, each erupting into light for the sake of passion. Tonight, I laughed more, much more, than I have in ages, falling to the floor in convulsive giddiness. Tonight, I set free some light, and as I reveled in the joy of the unrestrained giggle, little stars fell about the place, landing in the palm of my hand, right there in the heart line.

    jaybird found this for you @ 03:02 in Posting Under the Influence | | permalink

    Web bird on the moon




    All material contained within this website, excluding external links and items listed otherwise,
     are registered with Creative Commons. All photographic works, logos, and creative writing

    are Copyright 2005 by theodore "jay" joslin and joyous jostling studios. Thank you, Wanderer, for All. 


  • i am jay joslin: a spirit-fed mountain hopping lover of everything, an ordained lefty-veggie-homo, and bon-vivant go-go dancing with all the messenger mockingbirds of morning. 



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    Letter Excerpt:


    Ten Considerations for Being Well n this Goofy Universe


    0. If you find yourself wonderstruck, donít forget to return the favor.

    1. Always be of service to the whole and the Holy. Youíll find that the Holy will reciprocate by being of service to your becoming Whole.

    2. You will be called upon to use your mind and your vision in ways I cannot possibly glimpse. Never turn down an offer to shine that light so uniquely yours to help others in their darkness, and youíll find that when itís your turn to be in the night that thereíll be someone along the way who happens to have a little glow to share .

    3. The rewards of being true to yourself  are infinite, even when outwardly your efforts are met with nothing.

    4. Youíll also see that  knowledge and wisdom will come from within yourself through your own struggle and curiosity... your loved ones may guide you to insight, but yours is the power to choose it.

    5. Youíll find that some of your choices couldíve been better, or at times were downright stupid. Thatís okay... I have a closet full of reckless decisions, but without making them I wouldnít have the slightest idea of what a good one might feel like if I tried it on.

    6. Your growth will be a mysterious, comic, ecstatic and sometimes scary ride, and I pray that you strive to savor each minute of it, even the most difficult or embarrassing minutes. Donít count on second chances.

    7. In those times when everything collapses around you, and whatís left wonít go right, donít forget your chances of being alive in this solar system, in this galaxy, are a little on the slim side. So slim in fact that it could be called a miracle to breathe this air, drink this water, and have whet ever predicament youíre having no matter how you shake, rattle and roll it. So go with the cosmic flow and always choose something over nothing, while remembering that thereís a little of each one hidden in both.

    8. Respond as best as you can with love to adversity rather than reacting with fear... Love, in any situation and  being the primordial source and essence of ALL THIS STUFF, leaves / enters us with the most possible ways out / in.

    9. Whatever youíre doing, celebrate the process of doing as much, if not more, than what youíve got when youíre done. Magic lives in the action.

    9 Ĺ . All matter is energy. All energy is infinite. We are but raindrops falling to the ocean, a short time in this shape until weíre reunited with the expanse from which we came. Your delicate yet sturdy, resilient body is a temporary shelter of energy that has swam the universe eternally and will continue eternally. You are a sudden crystallization of the infinite. One must ask themself, therefore, why be bored?

    9 3/4 . Choosing to live in the moment is courageous but becomes effortless once you begin...feeling obligated to survive in the past or future is dangerous and is difficult to continue. Itís one of the few risks Iíd recommend not taking, right up there with trusting icons and shrugging off coincidences.

    10. The Universe itself it not confusing, we humans just like it that way. Do frogs seem bewildered , butterflies befuddled and amoebas addled? Nope, just us, my child. So, whenever things just donít make sense, just take a deep breath and laugh as best you can, because thatís what you get for choosing this goofy, unpredictable place called Earth to embody yourself upon.