Even in absurdity, sacrament. Even in hardship, holiness. Even in doubt, faith. Even in chaos, realization. Even in paradox, blessedness
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"Life expands or shrinks in proportion to one's courage." ~Anain Nin
Delawhen? Not much time to post today. I'm not nervous about the skydive tomorrow, but there's a certain kernel of electric giddiness that's becoming everpresent. I'll find a way to somehow get a post out to describe the experience. Right now I'm grappling with many examples of perfectly good people who've become more neurotic as time has gone by, which is saddening and perplexing on many levels. I'm hoping that the rush of the wind and the unfettered view of the Earth tomorrow will loosen some of the frustration and confusion that always comes with trips like this. A rushing glimpse of freedom in the most unusual of circumstances... jaybird found this for you @ 14:25 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
I snuck in a little more net time, squandered, alas. I think Delaware is closing now. This is probably a good thing. I'm closing now too. jaybird found this for you @ 22:57 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
Delawhy? Well, that was interesting. The curse is that it continues to be interesting. Yesterday was my father's 60th birthday party, complete with bellydancers and all kinds of drunken inanity. I spent a lot of time leaving the party, walking around town, and walking around my memories. At corner of the bar, the debate was on, and for a while, that was an odd refuge from watching my father get progressively drunker. A gentleman came up who had previously identified himself as a conservative activist, and kept trying to goad me into a debate. I politely declined, until at one point pressured to give him one good reason why I as an individual cannot support the [p]resident. "Because he is supporting a constitutional amendment that will write legal discrimination against a large minority of people into our most treasured nationally binding document. I will not support legal discrimination." "Well I see," he said, his double chins a'flappin' against eachother to punctuate is vehemence, "you're supporting a Marxist ideology that seeks to undermine the most sacred pillars of our society, you're not an American and thinking like that will only destroy America..." At which point I turned to him, said that he doesn't know me and how dare he judge me unfit to be an American, that the conversation was over, and turned back to finish off my German beer and watch the debate in peace on a Japanese TV. He grumbled away and proceeded to dance to the rockin' rhythms of a Beach Boys cover, and I told my father that his buddy was an asshole and my time in the bar was growing nigh. He said his friend was a "good Republican" and he's a nice man. Heh. Delaware, as it always has, is beginning to drain my psychic batteries and erode my spirit. Usually, it does so until there's nothing left, a Zen-like void, to be filled be the cathartic tide of realization and illuminations that come with sighting my mountains again when it's all over. But there's Monday to consider this time. Monday, I jump out of an airplane, and will for a brief moment, experience free fall, the illusion of flight as gravity seeks to draw me back to Earth. I have a feeling that the atmosphere screaming by will illumine and realize my soul in ways I've never considered. I'm tingling with anticipation. jaybird found this for you @ 11:45 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
Delawhat? That's about all the posting I can get done today. Delaware, Goddess bless it, is decrepit; no free wi-fi hotspots that I can find. Alas. Google says there are a few but do I really want to be absorbed into a Dunkin Donuts reality? Maybe, if I get desparate enough. Today is my dad's 60th birthday, which hopefully will be kept relatively free of drunken mindlessness. We'll see, fingers crossed. This place has been so overdeveloped that it's amazing that I can find my way anymore, it's frightening. I'll be back on sometime tomorrow, y'all play nice out there. Oh, and watch Bush get his ass saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacked at the debate tonight, and watch big John suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurge. He's doing very well in the latest electoral projections, and I'll get a new one up by weekend. I heard a report that over 500k newly registered voters in NC are swamping the system. 500k! That's amazing, and just might be a secret weapon of mass democracy in Nov. 2. jaybird found this for you @ 13:10 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
The geese making alphabets over jaybird found this for you @ 11:32 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
Four Sunday Leaves, Blowing On the way there, I saw a book torn across the road **** The paths are strewn with leaves and couples
We are in the inevitable hands of change **** Twilight: **** jaybird found this for you @ 19:49 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
Eye of the Storm  Suddenly, a calm moment. The world stops spinning, the sun resumes its normal descent, an egg of light dropping from a womb of clouds. The road still pulses, but out of sight, out of mind. The barista interrupts, I can't sit here, I need to move on, whether I bought anything on not. Just when I was feeling at home again, a stranger in my town. In twenty-four hours, my mind became soaked with sensations of a new place, a far cry from my idiom. When I arrived there, I became immediately sick, the alien town became more so, and the delightfully peculiar sensations of newness took on a grayer tone. I struggled to keep my head as it tried to float off in curiosity and for refuge from a body ruled temporarily insane. A peal of sirens. A crumpled map. A man paralyzed with drink on a city bench. Beautiful people and an acidic skyline. Hare Krishnas feeding free dinners, talk of God and Consciousness. The smell of work. The tremble of leaves in the trill music of autumn. Fatigue. Friends once distant now in embrace. Strange dreams and coincidences. Forgetting about tomorrow. Ancient cats scaling high walls with magic. Tuning out the news. I am in wonder at the distances we traverse in such little relative time, while we sill grumble over the miles. I am in wonder how a day can never seem to end. I anticipate the eye of the storm to wink, and show laugh-lines in the cooling clouds. I am tired, and within reach of home, and my muscles have already succumbed to sleep. Where I went or why isn't important, it's that my here and there that are perplexed and dizzy. The sights that have colonized the short-term memory, the overheard conversations, the dispensing of duty, so much fancy in the passing sky. What remains is love... the warmth of a friend long unseen and the unparalleled smile through the bare window at the moment of recognition, these supersede any detail. And to that bright curve of lip, I blow a kiss of veneration and thanks. This tea tastes of the whole orchard. The tree across the way thrives as the whole forest. And these slight weary words, spelled out in a place less foreign yet just as impenetrable, speak for my whole language right now as they say, without a trace of definition, that its good to be here, in the eye of that storm fearful storm called time and place. jaybird found this for you @ 19:22 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
Gathering It's a peace rally; a man is talking about his experiences in surviving homelessness, pigeons are playing in the fountain, and the audience listens in rapt attention to his story. He couldn't stay at the mission, but he held down a construction job for $10 an hour. This is a man who changed his life out of despair. As he speaks, a mockingbird trills atop a lamppost, not singing for spare change. There are homeless men listening, as he talks about the social injustice of crack addiction. It's hot, but people are sitting patient, as another racing of pigeons flocks by. He's talking about hope. It looks like we all could use that. Guitars, ready for anthemic strumming, glisten in the sun. A leaf falls and lands on my head, that a few minutes ago had mock polar bear ears on them... one had to be there. It's a lot to explain, but the man speaking is talking about plain truth, and passion, and letting your consciousness take over. Even though the story is jumping all over, nobody's perfect, but some moments, some scenes can be, under a bright blue sky, the clarity of gathering. jaybird found this for you @ 14:02 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
I'm experiencing this bizarre thing I'm experiencing this bizarre thing of being online and wireless from a busy Sunday morning coffeeshop... this is too cool! Overheard: "Give me two reasons we should do this now, and she said, I'll give you three." "I asked God for forgiveness and I think She was on vacation." "That man looks like a fire engine!" This is the beginning of something weird. jaybird found this for you @ 11:03 in Somewhere in the WiFi Wilderness | | permalink
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are Copyright 2005 by theodore "jay" joslin and joyous jostling studios. Thank you, Wanderer, for All.
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i am jay joslin: a spirit-fed mountain hopping lover of everything, an ordained lefty-veggie-homo, and bon-vivant go-go dancing with all the messenger mockingbirds of morning.
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