Even in absurdity, sacrament.    Even in hardship, holiness.    Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.   Even in paradox, blessedness.   

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March 2003
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03/07/2003 Entry: ""Squared Routes""

I spent my day as worker-robot in a glazed daze though the time maze. I slept about 2 hours last night all for the grand and worthy cause of commeradery and universally relativistic truthseeking with Joshua. I watched the events of the day pass like electrons through a TV tube, 2D whisps of desaturated color challenged by the vertical hold. Definately a strange channel. I'm going to sleep for a while, then at midnight join the crew for eggs and beer, a payday tradition.

I'm thinking, begrudgingly yet bemusedly, that it's time to break out the spiffies and check out a club or two over the next few weeks. Even though my orientation is firm, most gay clubs bore or scare me. I feel more at home in our Irish style pub, putting down a pint and watching a game of darts, or shooting pool in a cloudy haze of classic rock. But spring's scent is on the breeze, musky with invitation and sweet with chance. Maybe I'll find someone as disaffected as me, holding up a wall and taking in from a safe distance the bawdy spectacle of muscle shirts and denim so tight it's damn near an X-Ray, wishing he were up a tree or playing a flugelhorn while bouncing on a pogo stick. Projection? Whimsy and wishes? Yes, they are but I've got to start somewhere, even if the journey is unpredictable and the routes are squared.

Meanwhile, I can't keep my eyes open any more, so this is where I'll end it.

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jay/Male/26-30. Lives in United States/North Carolina/Woodfin/New Bridge, speaks English and French. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection. And likes creativity/mysticism.
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United States, North Carolina, Woodfin, New Bridge, English, French, jay, Male, 26-30, creativity, mysticism.





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