[Previous entry: ""] [Main Index] [Next entry: ""]
03/13/2003 Entry: ""Changing the Frame""
A nice solitary day, it was. I spent most of the sunlit hours doing paperwork in silence, and later did three laps at the lake which I had all to myself. I'm one of those rare damn fools who gets a kick out of running in a downpour.
The birds are back... yesterday I saw a bluebird quite close up, and a pair of waxwings, not to mention those harbingers of glad tidings, robins galore. I've seeded the feeders in hopes of catching a glimpse of some of those yellow guys or maybe even a bunting, my favorite.
As I was on the trail, the thought popped into my noggin that fear is usually the numero uno thing that holds us back but at the same time is absolutely nessecery for our development, not only as individuals but as a species. I'm not talking ice cold terror here, but rather anxiety, lack of surety, and trepidation. The fear of a three year old around a hot stove is protective; the same kind of useful fear that causes us to seek shelter in a hailstorm or march in Washington for peace ( or war ). To protect is inherantly good, what gets screwy is how we protect; the methodology and the vehemance. We could scare the living bejezzus out of the kid and it could take her years of desensitization to reconsider the typical harmlessness of baking brownies or flipping a flapjack. Or we teach and instruct the why, the rationale for protection, and encourage her to grease that pan, pop it in and be aware.
As I look back upon this weird string of beads that are my days on this planet, and think about all the times that my fear addled my aspirations, I now have to ask "was this protective or was this defeatist?" Because the other stripe of fear as I see it is that which has already admitted defeat so as not to fail in the attempt, an overbearing overprotection that short circuits our hopes and lures us into the safety of being a surrender monkey.
I believe it is possible, if a tad overly optomisitc, to base your actions and decisions entirely on trust and faith rather than well or ill intentioned fright. If we establish trust as a basis for motivation, while keeping a watchful eye on potential risks, and knowing that we ultimately have the power over simple fate to assure that everything's going to be alright ( just like Lou Reed and VU sang while blissing on bananas ), than I think that this little word could be a bit less tense.
The painting is always a masterpiece, but sometimes you've gotta change the frame.
Maybe it's all hippie crap, I dunno. But I've got faith that it's useful crap and good either way.
There's light rain, moon poking through, just the right shade of night to wrap around yourself and float off into who knows where to become a shadow for who knows what.
Add A New Comment