Even in absurdity, sacrament.    Even in hardship, holiness.    Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.   Even in paradox, blessedness.   

Home of Theodore "jay" Joslin; divinity student, author, wingnut, and queer nature boy. Dedicated to the Unity and Sacredness of All-That-Is, including and especially you.


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March 2003
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Digging the Immaterial;
Yet another human
pondering the Universe
and what it means to be
alive and well within It.
by jay joslin

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04/06/2003 to 04/12/2003
03/30/2003 to 04/05/2003
03/23/2003 to 03/29/2003
03/16/2003 to 03/22/2003
03/09/2003 to 03/15/2003
03/02/2003 to 03/08/2003
02/23/2003 to 03/01/2003
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02/09/2003 to 02/15/2003
02/02/2003 to 02/08/2003
01/26/2003 to 02/01/2003
( inside jay's head ) 01/26/2003 - 02/01/2003
( inside jay's head ) 01/19/2003 - 01/25/2003
( inside jay's head ) 01/12/2003 - 01/18/2003


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spirituality, consciousness

sillyness, satire, absurdity


posting under the influence

Saturday, 15 March, 2003...........................................................

"The Ideas of March"

So, the Ides are upon us ( with a few hours to go ) and the world has not had a polar shift nor have Brittney's boobs exploded. It would be nice if it was the Ideas of March instead, a day to be creative and to spawn some progressive thinking to typical problems. "Et tu, Brute? Put down the knife and let's process this a bit and work out our emotions, okay?"

But that's for next year, for today I didn't heed the soothsayer's warning. I got a really bad haircut ( from myself ) and while budgeting I began to see the gnashing crunch of one less job. The computer crashed once, and for some reason the house smells like a perfumed turd. So I'm a little bearish right now but I'll be fine once it's jazztime on the radio and the wine has chilled and the calendar is a few hours closer to flipping.

I might go out to the club tonight... no, not with this hair, scratch that. Maybe next weekend once the sides grow in a bit. I really did a dandy job. I'm so indecisive today. I'm just not feeling very intellectual, cosmic or spunky. Just here, plainly and simply, which is normally fine when I'm not also being ate up with my inner bitch.

Joshua had his belt test today, he's going for green belt. He was incredible... his movements were fluid and his intent was strong. He was totally ferocious during the katas. It even scared me, and I've watched him do this kind of thing since white belt. I think after Haiti I'll enroll in the school. I could always use more physical discipline and skills sharpening.

I'm going to watch the Iranian film the Color of Paradise. I think that will give me the oomph I need to lift myself out of this mysterious grumpiness and into some state of being that is more pleasant, or at least more interesting.

jaybird wrote this at 21.08 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Fish Talks, Town Buzzes. Oivey, meshugaas!

jaybird wrote this at 20.28 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Beware the Ides of March for you may find yourself in a pissy mood.

jaybird wrote this at 20.25 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"What I am I am, and say not. Being is the great explainer." - Thoreau

jaybird wrote this at 12.59 EST| entry link| 2 thoughts|


Take this quiz!
Which Humor
Troubles the Disposition of YOUR Body?

jaybird wrote this at 11.43 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Adbusters: Boycott Brand America

jaybird wrote this at 11.02 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"We succeeded in taking that picture [from deep space], and, if you look at it, you see a dot. That's here. That's home. That's us." Reflections on a Mote of Dust by Carl Sagan. An amazing couple of paragraphs to give our wars, crises, and petty divisions a little universal context.

jaybird wrote this at 09.22 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Friday, 14 March, 2003...........................................................

"A Realistic Hello"

Uh. I'm tired and a bit braindead after typing notres for work all day. Nothing mystical to report ( other than that the mystic is ongoing always even in our drudgery ) no hot romance or juicy intellectualism to steam the keyboard with, just a realistic hello from this quiet room as I slide into napville. Tonight I'd like to hit the town, though not too hard, and maybe poke my head into some glittery establishments. Depends on how long this organism that my brain lives in needs to zone out for. That said...

jaybird wrote this at 21.03 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Saul Williams: Not in My Name

jaybird wrote this at 18.14 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Beans on toes puzzles police via bifurcated rivets

jaybird wrote this at 18.00 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

NPR is reporting a new FDA initiative to bar-code patients in hospitals for "medication safety" purposes.

jaybird wrote this at 17.51 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Your right NOT to know:"...a 'business-friendly' Bush administration has kept vital information from consumers that may have prevented some of the hundreds of illnesses caused by food that was recalled last year."

jaybird wrote this at 17.44 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

The Dogma will Eat Itself: Democracy in Iraq doubtful, State Dept. report says / Social, economic obstacles work against transformation

jaybird wrote this at 17.13 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Blix: I'm more worried about global warming than I am of any major military conflict.

jaybird wrote this at 17.09 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Flight attendant accused of spiking toddler's juice to stop crying

jaybird wrote this at 07.10 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Thursday, 13 March, 2003...........................................................

The Joy of Recursiveness: Interactive fractality.

jaybird wrote this at 22.21 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Changing the Frame"

A nice solitary day, it was. I spent most of the sunlit hours doing paperwork in silence, and later did three laps at the lake which I had all to myself. I'm one of those rare damn fools who gets a kick out of running in a downpour.

The birds are back... yesterday I saw a bluebird quite close up, and a pair of waxwings, not to mention those harbingers of glad tidings, robins galore. I've seeded the feeders in hopes of catching a glimpse of some of those yellow guys or maybe even a bunting, my favorite.

As I was on the trail, the thought popped into my noggin that fear is usually the numero uno thing that holds us back but at the same time is absolutely nessecery for our development, not only as individuals but as a species. I'm not talking ice cold terror here, but rather anxiety, lack of surety, and trepidation. The fear of a three year old around a hot stove is protective; the same kind of useful fear that causes us to seek shelter in a hailstorm or march in Washington for peace ( or war ). To protect is inherantly good, what gets screwy is how we protect; the methodology and the vehemance. We could scare the living bejezzus out of the kid and it could take her years of desensitization to reconsider the typical harmlessness of baking brownies or flipping a flapjack. Or we teach and instruct the why, the rationale for protection, and encourage her to grease that pan, pop it in and be aware.

As I look back upon this weird string of beads that are my days on this planet, and think about all the times that my fear addled my aspirations, I now have to ask "was this protective or was this defeatist?" Because the other stripe of fear as I see it is that which has already admitted defeat so as not to fail in the attempt, an overbearing overprotection that short circuits our hopes and lures us into the safety of being a surrender monkey.

I believe it is possible, if a tad overly optomisitc, to base your actions and decisions entirely on trust and faith rather than well or ill intentioned fright. If we establish trust as a basis for motivation, while keeping a watchful eye on potential risks, and knowing that we ultimately have the power over simple fate to assure that everything's going to be alright ( just like Lou Reed and VU sang while blissing on bananas ), than I think that this little word could be a bit less tense.

The painting is always a masterpiece, but sometimes you've gotta change the frame.

Maybe it's all hippie crap, I dunno. But I've got faith that it's useful crap and good either way.

There's light rain, moon poking through, just the right shade of night to wrap around yourself and float off into who knows where to become a shadow for who knows what.

jaybird wrote this at 22.18 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Online $ Service Promotes Potentially Illegal Porn, Yet Inhibits Politcal Dissent Site. They hold a virtual monopoly... if I discontinue using "them," which I want to do, what are my other options? ( Few-n-Far-'Tween ). Opinions, suggestions?

jaybird wrote this at 17.10 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Inspiration for the rest of us: Monkeys flee research center, keepers trying to lure them with bananas! You go, fellow primates, be free! Be free!

jaybird wrote this at 16.53 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Iraq's Drone of Mass Delusion

"The primitive craft - its wings held together with tin foil and duct tape, and two wooden propellers bolted to engines far smaller than those of a lawn mower - looked more like a high-school science project than the "smoking gun" that could spark a war."

jaybird wrote this at 16.37 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Nightmare!"

Nightmare! Woke up feeling sickened about a ruthless ( in real life somewhat ) group of coworkers who decided to torutre one of our clients ( I work w/ disabled ) in a public venue. All employees had to attend. A few brave souls did not participate and went in search of phones to call Family Services and ostensibly, the police. The last thing I remember was that I had escaped and was on the same search when one of the ruthless people came out of nowhere and tried to rent me a house.

It's going to feel a little creepy seeing these same folks at work today.

jaybird wrote this at 07.24 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Wednesday, 12 March, 2003...........................................................

"Grand Unspecified Inking"

Today was the first day in over a week that I've been able to utilize my spunk and feel a sense of what it means to be alive. While I still have some minor physiological gripes, the whole system that is my body is compensating with a vengeance and is eager as a toothy aquatic mammal to experience the sheer unadulterated bliss that typically accompanies realizing that we are alive on a hunk of rock in an eternal vacuum ( in other words, it was nice outside today, and that made me happy ).

I went for a walk/jog at Beaver Lake and had a great experience while resting in the grass. The sun was full blast in my face to the right, while the day moon was visible to my left. As flocks of ducks and other playful birds flitted around overhead, and Vivaldi's "Gloria" kissed my ears from the Mini-Disc, I stopped having a sense of "me" lying there in the field near the lake's shore, and began to have more of a sense of "we." Not "we" in terms of people, but a collective breathing and becoming of "we" as all lifeforms, as co-participants in a constantly moving and evolving flux of the infinite. This was not some emotional or intellectual feeling, it just was, only in a grand unspecified inkling that I'm not used to perceiving. Not selflessness, but self in the "isness." Then a dog ( Alsatian? ) barked not far from my head and my nostrils suddenly anchored on the smell of car exhaust, and the trance was broken. But as I got up to run again, I kept my crazy smile toward the sun and watched the universe move in tiny steps all around.

I've learned that two days after I return from Haiti I'll be walking in a twelve mile Peace March... sounds good to me, and a great way to process all those things I cannot yet imagine ( but I know instinctively I'll need time to think over ). I've decided that while away, I'll have a guest host here at bird on the moon... what he does is up to him but I'm sure you'll be entertained. It's now a daily thing; I'm counting down the time and already feeling the foreigness creep it's way into my idle thoughts and daydreams. And yet it's all mystery... there's no real itinerary that I know of, only focal points. I've read some, but not enough about that little island far away, and printed words are only partially useful when compared with confronting that actual thing to which they refer. No word is more powerful than the thought behind it.

It's late and I'm e-ranting. I feel I should say more, but more isn't forthcoming; it's lodged in the back of my wartorn throat with many, extra and mulititudinous. More will have to wait it's lexical turn to get out.

jaybird wrote this at 23.53 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Pentagon threatens to kill independant reporters in Iraq

jaybird wrote this at 16.20 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Three and a half-year old SETI@home project identifies candidate radio signals from space, heads for Arecibo to take second look

jaybird wrote this at 16.10 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

[George Soros]The bubble of American supremacy

jaybird wrote this at 15.46 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Oldest Human Footprints Found, Experts Say. Barefoot on a volcano, there's some chutzpah for you!

jaybird wrote this at 15.43 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Tuesday, 11 March, 2003...........................................................

"Get Up, jay"

I hereby declare, by cementing my intentions in binary code for all the world to see, that I will get up from this chair and do something productive in twelve eleven minutes.

Update: Only 24 minutes late in accomplishing this, but the website is now even easier on the eyes.

jaybird wrote this at 20.50 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Fifty years ago, George Mansour was arrested for having sex with another man behind closed doors at a private party. What was it like to have your name smeared across the true-crime tabloids at age 19?" Great article on how things have changed in a relatively short span of time. via MeFi

jaybird wrote this at 20.18 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

The Senoi, the dream-people of Malaysia

jaybird wrote this at 16.00 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Woman arrested in UK over leaked memo detailing US surveillance operation on Security Council member nations. Original post here.

jaybird wrote this at 15.31 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Videographer at Ashland, Oregon Peace Protest Arrested just for being there.

jaybird wrote this at 15.22 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"...the expanding horizon of divine belonging is the context in which revelation takes place; all creatures are invited to respond, to engage in the co-creative task of being and becoming. All life forms have unique roles in this process, the primary focus of which is creation itself rather than formal religion."

~Diarmuid O'Murchu in "Quantum Theology."

jaybird wrote this at 13.29 EST| entry link| 3 thoughts|

Libraries post Patriot Act warnings / Santa Cruz branches tell patrons that FBI may spy on them, and John Ashcroft will personally apply "moderate physical pressure" to assist US Forces™ in investigating those unpatriotic bastards with overdue books.

jaybird wrote this at 13.11 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Man trapped in bathroom by cat

jaybird wrote this at 13.03 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Easily Taking It"

I'm just getting up, trying to decide if I feel better. I suppose I do, but I took the day off under doctor's orders. My voice still isn't strong and I'm easily winded. My optomistic plan is to organize the living heaven out of the chaos this house has accumulated, work on lines for the play, bathe the cats, and learn some creole.

My dreams under the half moon were half baked. I don't recall much other than my hometown being overrun with cacti and some raunchy encounter with a thin waiflike god. I fell asleep reading about theories that a Welsh character named Madog crossed the Atlantic long before everyone else, and I remember being half asleep imagining a boat made of antlers on the high seas piloted by Christine Hinds of the Pretenders.

It looks incredible out, so I think I'll hobble down to check the mail and smell a dandelion or two.

jaybird wrote this at 11.23 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Philosophy Games, again, isn't it all?

jaybird wrote this at 11.09 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Philosophical humor. Isn't it all?

jaybird wrote this at 11.07 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Massive Ordinance Air Burst, or 21,000 lbs. of death and carnage.

jaybird wrote this at 11.06 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

US public turns to Europe for news... whither propaganda?

jaybird wrote this at 11.00 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Monday, 10 March, 2003...........................................................

He condemns the "tendency of democracy to obscure the divine authority behind government." Excellent article on the theocratic tendencies of "Justice" Scalia from the blog Seeing The Forest

jaybird wrote this at 23.13 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"...yesterday's heresies have become today's new orthodoxies." Postmodernism and truth.

jaybird wrote this at 18.12 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Crud Redux"

Bronchitis said the good doctor. At least it doesn't cramp my typing. Tired of sleeping 0 hours due to unproductive coughing, I took the gamble and decided to turn towards the dull, mechanistic world of western medicine for relief, and it turned out to be a good thing. Had I left this untreated I could've turned into Larry King.

I dreamt that the Blogosphere was being inundated by a "coughing meme" and every other blogger was writing about how terrible their coughs were. There was a site à la the Bloggie Awards that rated each user's style of coughing, the phlegm they produced, and the overall uniqueness of their discomfort. Blogdex was riddled with these "hacking neuve" blogs, and MeFi was resplendant with the culture and politics of the cough... the subtle unheard throat clearing to the cataclysmic and bodacious houseshaking cough of the century.

It's obvious that my mind has been fixated on too few things.

jaybird wrote this at 18.08 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

An unethical means to an unethical end; the tactic of "Shock and Awe." Someone's gonna have a little karma to be awed by.

jaybird wrote this at 16.46 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

The Xanax Cowboy: Bush officials believe that making the world more scared of us is the best way to make us safer and less scared. NYT link

jaybird wrote this at 15.47 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Sunday, 9 March, 2003...........................................................

"The Day in Pictures"

Wo and I spent the day traipsing about the woodlands and hills of our fair neck o' the woods. We went all through Mills River and the Parkway ( including a stunning visit to an abandoned fire tower ) and I managed fine despite my constant cough. Right now it's gotten much worse again, so I'm posting these as a last ditch attempt to hit the web before I cough myself out of existance, generating so much pneumal friction that my lungs in their heaving create antimatter and I blast myself into the eigth dimension with Buckaroo Bonsai...


A crystal clear creek bed, Mills River mingling with tree roots, mountain view through a hollow tree, the abandoned tower, it's steps, and a certain celestial spectacle that invites all kinds of wonderous words but does it's thing in total silence.

jaybird wrote this at 23.33 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Washington fakes Iraq 'evidence,' which is reasonable considering we have a fake government.

jaybird wrote this at 20.47 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Pop Our Internal Crocuses"

These heralds of renewal decided to show their sweet faces this morning, always among the first to whisper into expectant ears "here comes the sun, darlin, come with us and we'll show you a good time." So, despite manic coughing and fits of reality, I'm going to plunge myself into this amazing day and unplug from obligation, expectation and routination. Who knows what other voices I'll find out there gearing up for the Equinox, but I don't think I'll fine a one who begrudges the coming of the warm breeze and the twinkle in the eye that is the reflection of creation in action.

The trick of it all is that it's so easy to see the thaw outside, but what do we change inside to melt the ice frosting our thoughts and pop our internal crosuses? Is it conscious, or are we invariably linked to the seasons in such a way that our psyches tick toward seeding, fruition, harvest and sleep like the Earth's own sacred clockwork? Do the budding of waking trees trigger an unfurling within without having to think about it?

I don't know, but I'll just let it happen and see where in the world, or in the county, it takes me. The sun beaming through the window and falling across the blissed out dreaming cat and the tunes of bird beaks are too much to resist. In fact, that friction of resistance is the opposite of what that shining light seems to be saying... "lay some roots baby, crack the shell and come see how groovy these colors are, and how good you look in 'em." And green goes with anything.

jaybird wrote this at 10.48 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"the maturation of the gay movement"

jaybird wrote this at 07.46 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Spicy! Ostriches 'flirt with famers'

jaybird wrote this at 07.41 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Miss Shooting Range crowned and not only is the world safer, but more color coordinated on the battlefield.

jaybird wrote this at 07.36 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Halliburton wins contract on Iraq oil firefighting Suprise, suprise, suprise!

jaybird wrote this at 07.34 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|





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jay/Male/26-30. Lives in United States/North Carolina/Woodfin/New Bridge, speaks English and French. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection. And likes creativity/mysticism.
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United States, North Carolina, Woodfin, New Bridge, English, French, jay, Male, 26-30, creativity, mysticism.





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