Even in absurdity, sacrament.    Even in hardship, holiness.    Even in doubt, faith.     Even in chaos, realization.   Even in paradox, blessedness.   

Home of Theodore "jay" Joslin; divinity student, author, wingnut, and queer nature boy. Dedicated to the Unity and Sacredness of All-That-Is, including and especially you.

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May 2003
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The Archival Thingy

moon phases

Digging the Immaterial;
Yet another human
pondering the Universe
and what it means to be
alive and well within It.
by jay joslin

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iocrian rhapsody



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plastic bag






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04/27/2003 to 05/03/2003
04/20/2003 to 04/26/2003
04/13/2003 to 04/19/2003
04/06/2003 to 04/12/2003
03/30/2003 to 04/05/2003
03/23/2003 to 03/29/2003
03/16/2003 to 03/22/2003
03/09/2003 to 03/15/2003
03/02/2003 to 03/08/2003
02/23/2003 to 03/01/2003
02/16/2003 to 02/22/2003
02/09/2003 to 02/15/2003
02/02/2003 to 02/08/2003
01/26/2003 to 02/01/2003
( inside jay's head ) 01/26/2003 - 02/01/2003
( inside jay's head ) 01/19/2003 - 01/25/2003
( inside jay's head ) 01/12/2003 - 01/18/2003


world events, politics, opinion

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the GLBT / queer community

spirituality, consciousness

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posting under the influence

Saturday, 3 May, 2003...........................................................

Patch Adams: Ten things you can do to change the world.

jaybird wrote this at 23.53 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Future Keeps on Slippin into Time"

Ay carumba! I'm in the middle of a non-stop marathon... did the first book signing last night, which went well, even beyond expectations. As soon as that was over I had to chaperone a mass slumber party. Woke up from that and rolled into my seasonal job working in the flower shop of a swanky resort. About to leave here to go to Rolling Thunder and hear Granny D. Then have to go to my other other job and set up 300+ chairs. After that, Japanese barbeque at a friend's. Tomorrow is pretty booked too. How I long for Haiti, where time isn't real and watches are useless!

jaybird wrote this at 15.20 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Friday, 2 May, 2003...........................................................

"he doesn't want to tread on another country's sovereignty" but he will. U.S. warns Canada against easing pot laws

jaybird wrote this at 17.02 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Ivins: Fleecing The Family "The Bush administration is leading the charge with proposed new rules that will erode the 40-hour workweek and affect more than 80 million workers now protected by the Fair Labor Standards Act." End of overtime as we know it?

jaybird wrote this at 16.53 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Which way did they go, George? Connie Rice spills the beans. Vilified weapons inspectors may have got it right

jaybird wrote this at 16.10 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

This report comes courtesy of my comrades at Free Radio Asheville:

The black-listed Dixie Chicks sold out the Bi-Lo Center in Greensboro, NC in their first US show since Natalie Maines' anti-Bush comments. Maines told the 15,000 fans they were alloted 15 seconds to boo the band, and then began a countdown "...three, two, one!" that ended with the audience erupting into cheers and seat-banging instead of boos. The Chicks then launched into the CSN&Y classic 'Long Time Gone'. About 15-20 anti-Chicks picketers gathered outside the Center. Country music radio has black-listed the DCs and encouraged fans to destroy DC recordings. Right-wing radio has encouraged hostility towards the group and all three vocalists have had their lives and the lives of their families threatened. GO CHICKS!! compiled from wire reports. Ed

jaybird wrote this at 15.59 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Oak Ridge Y-12 Nuke Weapons Plant Explosion Probed

jaybird wrote this at 15.53 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Thursday, 1 May, 2003...........................................................

"A Made Day"

Happy Beltane everyone! I'm going to celebrate the turning of the wheel with a run at the lake. Nope, it's raining now. No one is answering phones ( can't blame 'em ) so I'm enjoying solo time, even through there are a few folk in particular ( hint hint ) that it would be most joyous to hear from. I certainly am not the best at instigating communication either... I update this site more than I write letters to those I love. ( At that point one particular human of much personal import intercepted my psychic boomerang, and the cellphone, and said hello ).

And while time whiles itself away, I take a moment to feel how damn fortunate I am, that all the things I learned in April while in Haiti continue to bloom into May. I can truly say, perhaps with a hint of ontological prevarication, that one way or another, I got it made. Whatever "it" is. Could be my frozen pizza, could be my pizza mind. Not much else to communicate, at this moment, anyway, other than this:

"The finger that point and names a thing is no different than that which it names. The self that knows it's source knows there is no self. What we call personality, emotion and desire, are all figments of eternity that we filter through our limited sensualities. We are only one step away from living in the dynamic creation dream of the Universe; what separates us is the imagination that we have power, yet we could be free if we used our powerful imaginations!"

Or somesuch hooey.

jaybird wrote this at 18.58 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Country of the week, Argentina! Day 6: Musica!Rich musical history,
and an exciting present! Bustamente!

jaybird wrote this at 18.29 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Metaphorically speaking... Plato's Cave & The Matrix again, via MeFi

jaybird wrote this at 18.22 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

? May Day high weirdness: Does May Day actually commemorate the birth of the Illuminati? via MeFi

jaybird wrote this at 18.08 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Our Hero, Jon StewartGov. Bush vs. "Pres." Bush. Incongruities galore!

jaybird wrote this at 17.29 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Wednesday, 30 April, 2003...........................................................

"Eve of Beltane"

One of my favorite days of the year is upon us: Beltane! Tonight I will make a small offering and tomorrow enjoy some woodsy time and solo ritual to mark the grand occasion.
Blessed be, ye Gods of Old; Merry meet, ye Gods of Tomorrow.

In the evening, however, I will diverge from sacraments and be attending a talk by Jim Hightower before a screening of Bowling for Columbine.

A while ago a fortune cookie declared that the coming months would herald a bursting forth of social hubbub and that appearing to be true. There are increasing options for involvement and fun, and as long as there is some down time, I'm up for as much as I can get. The weekend is bustling with a confounding array of get togethers and chit chats. I've even been asked ( by the kids ) to chaperone an interfaith youth lock-in after the book signing.

Things with Ricardo have finally made sense; he sought me out in search of having a gay male friend, not for romance. Now that that is clear, I'm very happy with that outcome despite my initial confusion and desires. If there weren't a language gap between us, all that could have been figured out long ago. But I enjoy, just as I did in Haiti, the challenge of communicating ideas without much verbal common ground. That said, I emailed Roni, mystic orphan I worked with in Haiti... "...quand vous mineurs l'attendez, vous pourriez juste obtenir de la pulpe de canne à sucre en bas de votre chemise! Pouvez vous être chatouillés longtemps dans la nuit!"

I'm going to take a short stroll in the rain... with thought of Maypoles, parades, the Green Man, the May Queen, John Barleycorn, and what may grow from the seeds I've sewn.

jaybird wrote this at 22.51 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Synthetic Dimensionality "The reason that language has fuzzy terms is not that human thought is fuzzy, but that the world is fuzzy."

jaybird wrote this at 21.19 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Country of the Week, day 4: Argentina declares flood disaster

jaybird wrote this at 19.19 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Santorum's comments included a refernce to "dog lovers." Read other compassionate, inclusive statements from "top" Repubs.

jaybird wrote this at 17.04 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Gilgamesh tomb believed found

jaybird wrote this at 16.40 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Outrage: "Patriot Act" Raid in NYC

jaybird wrote this at 16.28 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Yet another reason why this time in history is more surreal than MC Escher in a tutu doing the lambada with Snoopy: Hilary Rosen to write Iraq's new copyright laws.

jaybird wrote this at 16.22 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Cat Hitches Ride From Indiana to Missouri

jaybird wrote this at 15.59 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Mailer: We went to war just to boost the white male ego "...Bush thought white American men needed to know they were still good at something."

jaybird wrote this at 15.56 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Tuesday, 29 April, 2003...........................................................

Ashcroft Rejected By Newly Created Bride Of Ashcroft

jaybird wrote this at 23.29 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Country of the Week:Argentina, day 3. Argentine Authors: A list of great women writers, writers and works of history, and the masters... Borges, Bioy, Puig and Cortazar.

jaybird wrote this at 17.15 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"The Skinny on R"

So, last night's post was a bit cryptic, eh? Here's the skinny... Ricardo is absolutely charming and wonderful. I'm head over heels for him. He bought the movie, I bought dinner. The language barrier was amusing, but we got by. He is gay, to confirm, we got that out of the way pretty quickly ( I have this bad habit of being attracted to straight folk ). As the evening progressed, just before the movie and as my proverbial juices were being blended into a love smoothie, I asked ( again, just to confirm ) if he was involved with anybody ( I have this bad habit of dating people who aren't honest about their histories or presents ). "Si," said Ricardo, "he lives about two hours away, in Hickory."

Well, that just about blew the fuse on the blender of my heart and I pretended to find the right words in English to respond with while my mind stammered and tried to find better view of the sudden confusion. My response, after taking a few moments to see how I felt, was genuine; I'd love his friendship and believe it would be an asset in my life, and hopefully vice-versa. And thenceforth, the evening proceeded in the same pleasant, warm, charming manner, albeit with reduced expectations on my part. Yet he does all these "extra" things: opening doors for me, getting me a drink I didn't ask for at the theater, and asking my over to his house again tonight. This might just be who he is... incredibly open and friendly, no pretenses. But I can't help but wonder if there's ulterior motives. I could even be guilty of the same, I'm not sure if I've thoroughly converted my hopefulness for a reprieve from singleness into happiness over a new friendship.

I hope tonight I do a better job of keeping my mental waters clearer and can intuit a little deeper into my feelings and his. I must remind myself of the blessings to have the souls in my company that I do. I realize the while there may be no cosmic reason for the odd arrangements that my life falls into, that I may as well make do and enjoy the ride even if my directions are tossed out the window and the destination far into the night, if there at all.

jaybird wrote this at 16.05 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Peeing Under Starlight"

Peeing under the starlight can really give you a sense of perspective. There you are, willy to the wind, eyes glued to the heavens and you catch a celestial wink from the edge of time itself. There's Alpha Centauri, radiating vast streams of charged particles and superheated plasma, and there's you, feeling suddenly rather small, pissing away the last of your imported beer. As you both expel for that brief moment, maybe you're both whistling, and no matter how insignificant you might feel right then, think of the ant caught without umbrella in your deluge.

The Heart Sutra, a Buddhist Scriptures of much recent attention, might as well fall from the sky at that point and try to make life easier by reminding us that our realities are generally a concoction of human-centric hobbies like semantics and philosophy. To paraphrase; "there is no form, no increase and decrease, no perception, no consciousness, no mind, no body, no suffering." Suppose a thoroughly modern cosmic karaoke hack would wanna grab the mike at that point and improv along with good ol' Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva... would it sound like "there is no money, there is no luck or lack of luck, no right or wrong in politics, no theory that will finally make sense of everything, nothing ultimately to say that's witty enough to save your ass, no clothes that will highlight your best curves, and no self either so why fret over being single for so damn long?" To address the latter query, what if some Tibetan lama has a long lost scroll stashed away in his yak-wool sock drawer, "The Lonely Hearts Sutra?" Would it twang out in ancient tongue "hang it up girlfriend, cuz he ain't out there, he already in yo soul?"

Behold the healing, relieving ironies of crazy Zen.

But yet, after we're shaken off, zipped up and back under a non-whimsical ceiling and piled up chores diminish our sense of scale, all these attachments, internal and external, put on a flashy colorful show and soon we've forgotten about all that astral conferring and we're back to catering to their needs and assuming these roles of wanting and needing and giving so that we get. And "we" means all we humans... sure it's a generalization, but what isn't? Soon, things and lack of things can outweigh the knowledge that's inherant with each and every soul; that we choose to accept our illusions rather than creating and living in our dreams.

So, what's this all about? I dunno, but it might be this:

Tonight, I had an inkling while I was under the twinkling a' tinklin'. Coming home, content with being confused about a date riddled with language barriers and my own lingual desires, I found the bathroom to be abundantly occupied by the couple that's the dictionary definition for 'oversexed.' So, bladder and I took refuge under Orion's unbuckling Belt and sighed together into the knee high grass. I thought, in that brief flowing of time and other things, that my unwanted singlehood was just an attachment like any other I have, and I might as well piss it away. The universe has a way to make use of it's matter, so it'll do fine handling this one little feeling. It's been holding me back to long from really enjoying life, so now the grass has a little extra nutrient and I've cast off singlehood in favor of "selfhood." Should someone choose to enter, heck yeah and so mote it be! But I'm tired of feeling bitterness about love when there's so much love around. Thinking that way doesn't fit in with who I think I am. It's not congruent. It won't aid in manifesting.

The greatest wisdom in letting go is that in letting go of what you have, you must also surrender what you don't. So, to the wind it goes. I won't deny my emotions, but I won't devote all my energy into making sense out of them and what begat them. I'm beginning to sense that much is essentially senseless in life, and we've created vast cosmologies and psychologies to divine meaning from apparent meaninglessness, and that's utterly beautiful. Yet there's something to just experiencing It All and not trying to interpret it. I'd say that life is cake and our attempt to find purpose is the icing... our greatest desires are the candles and they're burning fast. Blow them out and make a wish. Happy Birthday.

Then again, that's a long way from pissing under starlight. When ya gotta go, ya gotta go.

jaybird wrote this at 00.50 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Monday, 28 April, 2003...........................................................

"First Data"

Tonight at five, a mere 45 minutes away, I will go on my first date in a very long time. The last recorded date involved dodging dinosaurs and Moses chaperonning, parting various puddles for the doomed effort. I will be meeting "R" ( if this works out, I promise more than an initial and even a picture ) for coffee and an art house film, then, who knows? I leave open every possible possibility, and even the impossible. Whatever the outcome, the giddy excitement is worth it.

Three cheers for fate!

jaybird wrote this at 16.20 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Country of the week: Presidential Elections in Argentina

jaybird wrote this at 16.06 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

The Heart Sutra

jaybird wrote this at 00.00 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Sunday, 27 April, 2003...........................................................

"Zen and Zonk"

This is the last post for tonight. I started another MeFi thread: Keepin' it real with Granny D! She'll be in Asheville next week with Rolling Thunder Democracy Tour. Truly an inspirational matriarch.

I'm going to watch this movie ( on a Zen kick ) then cash in on a nice run of dreaming. I had one this afternoon that was a movie, dealing with horseracing, school bus accidents, and it ended with a Marlene Dietrichesque cartoon character saying something like "There are no last words, nothing can sublimate the divinity of all beings. Especially poppies."

My energy level is a little low, so I hope the great zonk doesn't catch me before the credits roll. "What is the sound of one Jay snoring?" Inexplicable, I'm told.

jaybird wrote this at 21.55 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Ken Wiwa: In the Beginning, Bush Said, Let There Be Might Thanks to Plep

jaybird wrote this at 20.15 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Country of the Week: Argentina"

Using a world map and a dart board, I've let randomness pick this new weekly feature. Every Sunday I'll hurl sharp objects at the world in a wonton and careless fashion until one of them lands within the borders of a nation or territory. Each day I'll post at least one link that relates to the history, heritage or current events of the lucky winner.

Today, Argentina took the hit and residents of the state of La Pampa might have felt a rumbling as the celestial object came crashing down near Telen. The state is famous for it's Criollo horses. The nation, which ranges from tropical forests to Antarctic ice shelves, has a colorful culture that's brought the world much more than the tango.

jaybird wrote this at 14.53 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Promoting the Immaterial"

This morning has been a very strange excersize... the prototional phase of the book began with jittery, nervous announcement making and tome vending. Reception has been great, and the first shipment of the little green monsters is selling well. Yet I find this whole process of selling poetry that began in the cluttered corners of my heart, intended for me alone, to be confusing at best. I'm not into saying how great it is, or going into detail about my "method." It is what it is, and by and large I've let it go.

I just hope that the poetry makes sense to people, they get something out of it, and that's about it. A very dear friend is helping me to transform my perceptions about the experience, going from selling my book to giving something back to the community. That spin works for me.

jaybird wrote this at 13.55 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

It takes all kinds: Court told of sex with traffic cone

jaybird wrote this at 10.33 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

Duh Redux: Intelligence agencies accuse Bush and Blair of distorting and fabricating evidence in rush to war

jaybird wrote this at 10.21 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

The Unconventional Convention; Dismantling Geneva A-Go-Go: US Forces Make Iraqis Strip and Walk Naked in Public

jaybird wrote this at 10.14 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

"Pixie Led"

The simple hike turned into a five or six mile frolic through the mountains, a little lost but loving it. The immersion in the mountain springtime ritual produced ecstatic running and flapping of wings, slow meditations with bizarre flowers, and at times near-total disengagement from the self. Trees chatted in the wind and invisible companions rustled in the underbrush. While the seemingly endless detour from my detour could have provoked minor anxieties about becoming bear food, I was too busy being enchanted by the fractality of fern fronds and just how many shades of green were possible. I didn't expect such a grand foray into Pan's Paradise... I'm learning that expectation can't pick many locks.

jaybird wrote this at 00.24 EST| entry link| your thoughts?|

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jay/Male/26-30. Lives in United States/North Carolina/Woodfin/New Bridge, speaks English and French. Spends 40% of daytime online. Uses a Normal (56k) connection. And likes creativity/mysticism.
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United States, North Carolina, Woodfin, New Bridge, English, French, jay, Male, 26-30, creativity, mysticism.

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